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N4 doesn't exist anymore...
Thursday, December 27, 2007 at 12/27/2007 08:08:00 PM

It's really funny...
How some people can pretend nothing has ever happen.
You know i had frends which i thought we are veri close..
It's true that many times
in the past when i had problems they would be there for me
However, when many things do happen
And it drifted u apart.
We ain't true friends anymore...
But why is it that they never seem to understand it
Actually i dun even wanna hear her voice at all
i really think that she is selfish
the more i think abt her the more i
feel the hatred abt her

especially that line
"my mum is ok with ah bee they all she only dislike jimson"
when misunderstandings happen
and i got accused by her mum
she didn't help 2 clear the misunderstanding.
many times she said we should find 1 day
2 meet my mum and clear everything up..

easier for her to say..
but how do we do it?
anyway the misunderstanding had never been clear...
many times after that incident happen
she invited me over to her house.
BUT had she spare a thought on how i would feel f i see her mum again.

NO she didn't..
I made every excuse not to go out with her.
NOT because i didn't wanna gif her a chance
but knowing my character,
the more i see her.
the more i feel irritated with her...
so no point...

Anyway she always had a reason to defend for herself
but i really think that she haven been thru much in life.
if she had she would be more understanding to
my feeling...

So if u ever come and see my blog.
The biggest favour u ever can do is
dun call me out anymore...

Because u never even bother to send a message
asking how am i during last 4-6 months..
so why bother calling me out.
pls dun give excuses like "i'm busy"
No matter how busy
u can still send a sms..
it won take more den a min to type how are u?
am i right?

besides every time hear ur voice
i will remember that INCIDENT where
i got misunderstood...
It NEVER leave my mind
i thought it would fade away.
but apparently it didn't!
It's killing me!
i tried to hide it inside
but whenever u call me...
it comes up again

maybe ur mum is insensitive about others feeling
that's y you are also like that i guess?
u can say no... but i heard enough abt u
to know that u are insensitive to even ur close friends feeling

Pls be grateful for what u hv...
Jocelyn and shermain are a veri good friends
they always find a way to accept u
even if sometimes they are angry with u.
but i cant do that..

maybe in the past yes...
but after that incident i couldn't...
I'm sorry..
but i rather we not be friends anymore...

because N4 can no longer exist
and for jocelyn and shermain

That's all i wanna say...
thanks and i'm really glad that we were once such a close friends
it's a good things god bought all of u into my life b4
we really had many good memories
i mean it!

but it's really time to say good bye...

A real friend is some 1 that walks into ur life
when the whole world walk out of your life.
Friendship is supposed to be a sweet responsibility
but never an opportunity
sometimes people never noe how special someone is until the leave
But maybe it's impt to leave
so that person knows how to cherish friends around her more...
I once feel this way(pls watch the video)
But now i realise nth last forever unless u maintain it well...

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

Thursday, December 13, 2007 at 12/13/2007 03:01:00 PM

May had been dreaming about similar things for the past 2 days. She had been dreaming about a argument with teachers. In the two dreams it's 2 different teacher. Both not veri close to her. 1 is her D.M. The other on is the HEAD OF P.E. Both is extremely fierce. Bt why did May dream of them? And why is it that both times in her dream she is quarreling with her teachers?

Is something bad happening soon? Or is there some thing she is supposed to do?

In the first dream. May is quarreling with her D.M about him being her teacher but not helping her to find which culprit in the class stole her wallet. May saw her classmate take her wallet and threw it out of the window.

In the second dream May quarreles with her HOD of PE about him scolding her brother. May was trying to protect her brother. Because that teacher juz keep scolding her brother veri harshly.
But may's brother is not good in basketball yet the teacher is forcing him.

In both dreams May is feeling ANGER.
But the second dreams there'smore feeling mixed inside..
Anxiety, Jealousy, Fear.

May dunno... The more she think about it the more puzzle she gets..

If any1 knows how 2 interpret dreamz pls kindly enlighten her. Thanks.

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

Sunday, December 9, 2007 at 12/09/2007 08:49:00 PM

Wa i look lik more pretty ppl when i am without make up!!!


sooo happy!

think i need 2 slim down den i become prettier lol...

Listen to it! It's a nice song... Almost here

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

at 12/09/2007 11:27:00 AM





Life is a song and I'll play for you.

Friday, December 7, 2007 at 12/07/2007 09:54:00 AM


Maybe I am too selfish
Maybe i shouldn't react that way.
Maybe other ppl will feel happy
But why aren't I?

Maybe i should look it in a brighter way

I should be happy it get chosen...
Shouldn't i be?
so why should i dwell on it?

Maybe my voice isn't gd enough..
Maybe my pitch isn't gd..
Maybe i sucks in singing..

Maybe i should not dwell at it..

I'm sorry for making u guys worried... Guess i shouldn't have dwell on it.. I promise that i would try my veri best to smile.. This would be my last post abt THAT incident... For those who dun know abt it... Dun ask me, cos i cant gif u an answer.

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007 at 12/04/2007 09:49:00 PM

Music makes me sad...

I'm disappointed disappointed with myself..
It's so hard accepting the fact tha i cant sing well
I am told 2 be prepared..
I thought i am prepared
no I aint

The worst thing is i can share with no 1 but myself
cos i am supposed 2 keep it confidential...

Heart is aching
Blood feels lik it is gushing out..
the dissapointment and sadness juz wouldn't budge
they juz stay there..
pestering me non stop.
i tried 2 be postive but how can i?

Music is my life..
And yet it's the 1 hurting me now...
Tell me... Tell me please?
What am i supposed 2 do.
It feels like i lost the only support of my life.

yet no one can be there 2 understand it...
cos they will say
dun be silly it's nth serious.
but what they didn't noe is big part of my life is gone

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

Monday, December 3, 2007 at 12/03/2007 01:28:00 PM

Avier's thought

It's time for my thoughts again... lol... I'm actually sittin at the bench in blk 47....feeling so bored... Then i start thinking of some things...

I realised that i recently began to dislike some one more and more... I know when i was in trouble with my old class mates she was quite supportive of me.. And i always rmb that...

But stuffs she do really turns me off ...
Times when she should be straight and tell the truth.. She goes around beating the bush... And times when she should twist her words abit she will tell u things u dun wanna hear.
In short... she is insensitive...

Seriously, i don't understand and don't know how ppl can stand her... some times i really want to tell her straight in the face... But i had no right. Cos i am oso some 1 that people detest.... I know there are ppl out there who loves me.. But then i still cant 4 get the fact that in some point of my life i am so unwanted.

What i hope now is this girl learns how to be alittle more sensitive. If not i seriously thinks that 1 day she would be unwanted too... and i sincerely dun want her to learn it the hard way lik i do...

If u wanna know who u are... I have been cold to u recently. trying hard 2 ignore u... Not because i want to avoid u. But i dun wanna continue seeing the bad side of u ending up detesting u :-/. I am writing down here is because i dunno how 2 tell it to u. Cos i see other ppl lik ok with u... BUt still got some ppl already told me some bad things abt u... so whether u wanna change ant it's up to u:) it's ur choices.

I noe i am being mean... BUt the prob is i really cant accept it. I tried to think the gd side of her... But the bad side of her always overide the good... I jolly well know the feeling of being detest by ppl... But really, either u change or ppl will always detest u...

Well i hope that i have changed... if i haven do enlighten me...
I would rather u tell me str8 in the face and give me a chance to change then to make my life difficult for me :)

guess I'll stop here...

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

Sunday, December 2, 2007 at 12/02/2007 06:43:00 PM

May's Dilema..

May just met him 2 day after work..
She went 2 had lunch with him today.

Late lunch... And they went to library to start talking...
May really had alot of fun with him...
NOT the lovers type of fun.. But friends..

More like good friends...
If it wasn't for the time constraint and his lack of trust..

She had long regarded him as her best friends.
Or even soulmate :)

But then again, Maybe May is thinking too much...
She thought he trusted her and they had become close...
But 2 day. Things that he said make her realise it might not be the case...

May always thought he had understand her...

May really had pay attention to whatever he had said..

But sometimes May just dunno what to answer him.

Because she thought he might not want an answer.

She thought he might juz need a listening ear.
She thought "Oh I see" is a good enough.

She thought too much. Assume too much

He doesn't like her saying Oh i See..

He thinks she doesn't understand

He thinks she is just listening for the sake of listening

He thinks that she doesn't treat whatever he says seriously.
Again, he thinks. Assume too much

Are they going too close in a fast pace?

May wondered.
Will everything turns out to be bad.
She had only know him for like 6 months

Is 6 months too short to be telling each other many secrets.

Sometimes May thinks that she understands him more den He understands May.

Because If he had really understand her
Will he still make that type of judgement?
Juz because of "Oh I See"

And he doubts that she understands whatever he say.

"I can understand if u dun understand whatever i say"
He told May.

Why is every 1 assuming?

Why doesn't he trust her?

May trusted him..
Though he always nodded at whatever she says
May had doubt if he is listening.
She always ask him.
May trusted him.
If he is willing to tell May almost everything Why?
Why is he still doubting her?

Life is a song and I'll play for you.