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Monday, March 31, 2008 at 3/31/2008 02:47:00 PM

Was Browsing many celebrities BLOG..
When i saw many things..
Their feelings and stuff..

And i was wondering something..
why is it that all the famous ppl are all the skinny ppl?
MC king is talented..
from what all the celebrities had said..
his acting is good.
but he was never famous..
because he is not good looking..

Then there's this girl call 一大粒
ppl tagged and say she's a veri funny comedian..
But again..
she's never famous..

Maybe this world is cruel...
ppl will first look at appearance before anything..
no matter how talented u are.
u have to be pretty first
we juz have to accept it..

anyway i'm not emo:)
i am juz reflecting..
maybe it's time to accept that
inner beauty aren't everything..
u can't depend on ur inner beauty to get what u want
because in the end..
ppl still judge first instead of
getting to know u first..

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

I HATE Being compared!!!!
Sunday, March 30, 2008 at 3/30/2008 07:08:00 PM

I am quite pissed off now..
was browsing friendster..
anyway u all know that in my friendster shoutout I posted
"I am FAT and UGLY I'm never the girl i look like
in pictures.. Pls tell me u wanna noe me for who i am
and not how i look like. Btw I'm not emo
I just want ppl in friendster to know who they are befriending
I love myself :)"

Anyway i have already explained many times
I am not emo i juz want ppl to know who
they really are befriending..
and i am not wrong what..
i am really fat :)

Den i went to view who viewed me
there's this girl
my secondary school friend
she's oso quite fat..
and i see her shout out posted
"I am ah bui but i'm happy."
Not that i am trying to be sensitive..
But right after she viewed me she change her shoutout..
I feel that she's trying to follow me
or compare me and her..

because she had been like this all the while
comparing me and her
Evertime when she got the news that i went clubbing
the first thing she ask is
" what avier wear?"
"nice ant?"
things like that..
I know i should feel flattered

BUT the thing is I don't like to be compared with!!!
And other case oso?
why do ppl juz like to compare themself with me?
because u are confident..
Maybe they are just jealous...

But the thing is confidence comes from within..
You have to be confident to be happy..
my aim is to BE HAPPY..
my aim isn't to be the prettiest fat girl on earth
so there's really no need to compare
besides each is good in its own way..

If u wanna compare
you won be able to stop comparing..
I noe some times ppl have to compare in order to upgrade urself..
but shouldn't u compare in a good way?
and not trying to follow me?
and then be jealous of me?

I may sound stupid now..
because u might think
that i have no right to stop what ppl does..
but i juz hope that
i am not always the target for
plump girls to compare..

PPL say i like ur confident
i like ur these
i like ur that..
but did they ever reflect that
some times their life is better den me
but i didn't say anything?
we have to be happy with what we have
and not compare with what u dun have
cos this way u will NEVER be happy..

I repeat NEVER be happy..
so grow up ppl!
this is for every 1!
do not compare abt what u dun have
in fact cherish and treasure what u have..
This is the way to be happy :)

as for confident?
u wanna learn how 2 be confident?
i can teach u..
juz ask.. dun compare me :)
thank u..
anyway the first step to confidence is..
Ignore what others say..
do what u want to be happy..
u can't please everyone..
the first person u should please is YOURSELF :)

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

11.37 am
Friday, March 28, 2008 at 3/28/2008 11:38:00 AM

OK it's 11.37 am
is it too early to blog?
haha but no choice I'm afraid i will 4 get what i want to say
so yup..

Anyway i was browsing through a person blog juz now..
I find that her blog is quite interesting
juz that there's 1 post which have been ringing in my head
She was talking abt how angry she was
with her friends for not helping her
to set up with her flea markets
and things like that..
and she goes saying things like
"I can be veri nice but dun push me to be nasty"

But from my point of view,
She is worst then being nasty..
she try not to flare up (which is a good thing)
but she post her blog and tell ppl she's angry with them
and things like that..
I rather she flare up and tell her friend straight in the face what she feels
because good friends are supposed to be frank
with each other feelings
when u tell them straight in the face
they might not be veri happy..
but at least only they themselves noe what u are unhappy with them abt
and not come blogging things u dun lke abt them
and let the whole world noe...
to me it's simple..
If they are your friends, they have the right to hear from u
what you are unhappy abt..
sometimes disputes are the one that test your friendship
to see if they are strong enough..

anyway, after that i continued reading her blog
and i saw 1 of her post
she blamed her self for spending more time
with her poly friends
than her secondary BESTIES!!!

and i remembered my scenario..
I wondered how my used to be "besties"
think about me?
yesterday main called
and asked me whether i want to celebrate
fion's birthday
i told her no..
because i already stated clearly that
me and fion can only be hi-bye friends..

LOL main was so naive
saying why not u juz come blow cake
den go..
but i didn't reply
i noe she is trying to help...
But main..
fion is the 1 who should be making an effort
to come and talk to me if she wants to salvage the situation
not u..
And from my point of view she keeps dragging the situation
which ain't going to help AT ALL..
so yup..
i supposed our friendships ends then..

was disappointed with jocelyn though..
i supposed u are right..
after that quarrel with derrick she never call me le..
that's how strong our friendship is..
Dun even have chance to even talk to her

i feel like i'm so shi pai oso..
It's like i'm starting to grow distant towards every 1
including myself..
i really dunno what to do...
ok i guess i have to end here
or else i'll be rabbling non stop..

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

Finally!!! It's oVer
Thursday, March 27, 2008 at 3/27/2008 12:49:00 AM

Finally MP over
I am like so tired for past three days
Everyday go back sch:(
but was a little disappointed with overall result

Especially my english song!!!
the sound system was like OMG!!!
I veri sad
we wanted to try new genre so we worked quite hard for it
and.. That's the result we got...

hmmm I dunno I think my song result will get all
last sia..
actually i had so much to update u guys de
but the thing is whenever i come back home
i 4got all abt it!

Ok... I have to thank some ppl
Jia yi Steve and Meihar..

tried helping us in lyrics
and babe I'm sorry if we didn't use your idea..
because not we don't want to
juz that it doesn't fit in..
hope u understand..

Hmmm was pissed off with him at first..
Because he like drag the song for quite long
haha but was thankful
when he had spent 2 sleepless night fixing the english song
and although it's not perfect (obviously cant fight with timberland)
nor is it veri good (to others)
But i am proud of him!!
considering this the first time he did it!
I think the song is not good BUT GREAT!!!

*Jia Yi*
Hmm... was quite pissed when he rejected my lyrics
but lucky he got help me think most of the lyrics..
And importantly helped me sing that song...
OH and not 4 getting forbidden love..
truth? I muz say it's not fantastic..
but i love it!
It was a veri great try!
considering ur first time playing and singing
and oso with a huge lump on ur throat
really appreciate it!

Well i guess we will sure be pissed with 1 another at times..
but the thing is we 2 gether makes good music.
so yup 4 give and 4 get
That's what friends are for rite?

If only the MP will be good!
then it's like pefect
but NVM we'l try hareder next time ;p

haha guess I'll stop here!
My neck is killing me!
it sucks!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

Friday, March 21, 2008 at 3/21/2008 10:49:00 PM

Whoa... Had a few things to update wor
I went ITE register le..
IT WAS a disaster..
guess i would hate ITE life
i was like OMFG!!!
So little chinese...
out of 30 ppl
i only saw 1 chi..
can imagine the ratio :(
The worst THING is all the malay girl so hiao cha bor!!!

haiz another sad thing to say
i really become more and more fat!!!
MY sch shirt i wear 4XL leh!!!
i veri sad :'(
Always say want jian fei
end up only get fatter!!!

anyway i enjoyed my day 2 day
went out with singing kakis from KTV club
BUT kena bully by ppl only....
always bully me
haha ok la
shall stop here...
cos nth much to post abt..

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

My life is a blank
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at 3/18/2008 09:22:00 PM

I'm feeling real bored now..
I was reflecting when i realise how blank my life is
Every 1 is busy working..
Making money
Or even going to sch studying
but me?

I couldn't help realizing that my life is
nth but blank pieces..
Even if i wanna go out it isn't possible..
Because of severe lack of money..

What should i do?
i really feel that i'm useless...
always doing nth..
there's no excitement at all

been doing the same old things over and over again
that feeling sucks!!!
Anyway i read something inspiring today

a woman and a man had a child
That is their only child
1 day the man had a bottle of medicine
he put it on the table and asked his wife to keep it inside the drawer
the woman was busy inside her kitchen hence she forgotten all abt it
The child being only 2 years old was curious with the bottle
so he open and drank it up..
but the bottle contained of poison which can only be for external use..
when the woman found him and send the poor boy to hospital
he was already dead.
the woman was devastated.
She knew how her husband would react.
Her husband had called her to keep the bottle of medicine but she didn't
Guess what her husband says when he reached home?
and what's the purpose of the story?

ANS: When her husband was back, he simply say
I will always be here with u
MORAL: The husband know that there's no point in blaming
her after the incident had happened. Because the woman
loves her son as much as the man. Besides the man
realise that if he had take a few minutes to keep the bottle
the accident wouldn't have happen. No point blaming
his wife and making her feel remorseful. because her son
death is already a veri sad thing to happen.
He should give her his support.
That is why he said i will always be here for me.

I agreed with this totally..
People always blame others when things happen..
But never did they realise
that it takes two hand to clap..
since it already happen we should not blame each other.
we should juz try to salvage the situation
or give each other support...
because the situation won change for the better
no matter who or what u blamed..

we should really reflect on these..

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

I'm so in need of money
Saturday, March 15, 2008 at 3/15/2008 11:50:00 PM

It's been a long time since i last blog!
haha but at least my mind is not all abt him...
ok so many things had happen the past few days.

First it was GALA dinner..
speaking of which...
ppl out there! if u have the pics pls send it ALL to me..
den we went to johnny hse...
OMFG! his ham ham all so fat!!!
damn fat la! like me ...
so cute *twist*

Oh btw these few days
my temper has been veri veri bad..
i don understand why too
and my mouth!
i keep speaking without using my brain..
i ought to change..
wouldn't want history to repeat it self

i am so in need of money
any jobs to intro?
if u have leave me a tag yeah?

guess I'll stop here...

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

When I dream
Friday, March 7, 2008 at 3/07/2008 01:58:00 AM

Was Looking for a suitable song to post on my blog
Because My happy ending is no longer how i Felt!!!
I admit i haven let go off him totally!
But at least he isn't On my mind
every single moment..
that is a good thing...

In life,
we don't know what we are looking for
and we spend our whole lifetime
searching for it
worrying for it
Sometimes we thought we had found it
But we end up realizing we
had missed the most important thing in our life..

And that is to live life to the fullest
by enjoying every single second..
And i think i have wasted far too much time
It's time for me to live life to the fullest :)


Life is a song and I'll play for you.

Don't worry
Tuesday, March 4, 2008 at 3/04/2008 10:56:00 PM

I'm really happy today!!
Because after telling him
that i don't want to contact him
after drawing a clear line
I finally can forget him
well, not totally!
BUT at least i'm not so depressed le

I guess what i really need is a clear line
as long as he draws a clear line between us
I can 4 get him much faster
apparently he doesn't
he keeps giving me false hope
I'm glad it's all over
Although not totally over
But i am starting to let go which is a good thing

time for me to smile again!
got to get on with life soon!
so yeah !

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

i hate him
Monday, March 3, 2008 at 3/03/2008 08:33:00 PM

Juz as i am finally starting to 4get him
He contact me again!
I wanted to stop in touch with him
But i cannot bring up the matter

Deep down i Still wanted so much to keep in contact with him!
but shit!
each time i hear his voice my hearts starts to struggle again
fuck fuck fcuk!!!!

Ok I seriously made up my mind!
I wanna forget him!!!
i will get out of this!
I will go stronger!!!

10 mins later...
he contacted me again
and now my heart's all confused again
bUt i've made up my mind not to contact him..
so i asked him not to contact me again
after he asked me why and he got the answer he agreed
but why do i still feel the disppointment
i wanted so much to stay in contact with him
to Like him...
But i couldn't because if I do
I will be the 1 getting hurt!
I am going to lead a happier life!
Even without LOVE
I will still be happy!!!


Life is a song and I'll play for you.

at 3/03/2008 01:07:00 AM

seriously surprised at how much i've blogged these few days
Ok... It's been 3 days where he didn't call me
I don't knOw ifit is a good or bad things
Oh well..

I think I might have some illness..
Been having stomach cramp every single night!
and my aunty haven come..

Anyway we finally finished the shoots!
OMG! it's so tiring!
I can imagine how tiring it is for steve !
thanks dude!

big news!
I am so ashamed!
I didn't know he can do it so well

Any way some thing I wanna share with u
You guys know how ppl die from slp?
when u wake up and u find
a pool of saliva on ur bed or pillow
It means that your body is completely shut down!
which means u are VERY VERY close to death!

OK i have some New year resolution.
But is it too late to start?
My resolution is to slim down( evertime i say that i get fatter)
And i wanna change my character..
I am being too blunt
and too bad tempered!
I know i have change alot!
but still i need to improve more!
I wanna be a better person where i can shine out more!
Maybe then ppl will look at me differently
and maybe i can find some 1 who loves me for who i am!

I haven got time to waste!
i wanna marry early!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

Sunday, March 2, 2008 at 3/02/2008 01:19:00 AM

hmmm.. what a tiring day to day..
Went back to NP to do some shooting for SCC
I'm the Antagonist..
All of us are doing the same thing..
PPl so beautiful on screen
I have to do all the retard stuff -.0
Bad life..

And randomly we talk abt Sprained leg..
Jia min: I remember i had to help carry u to take cab..
Avier: Did u?
Jia Min: OMG! u 4got! How could you! I am Involved in helping them carry u to the cab you know!
And she began nagging nonstop!
Avier: OK FINE!!! I'l put ur name in my blog today! To thank u for carrying me to the cab with the
Help of OTHERS!
Jia min : You say de hor! Put the whole entry about me..
and remember to put my pictures!

So here I am FORCED to put this entry down!
But anyway thank u la..
you so skinny still muz help carry 1 fat girl haha

Juz got settled down..
Having a veri bad cramp now
thanks to that aunty that visits me every month -.-
Causing me so much pain!
I better rest early got to shoot again tml!

Hmm i feel so much better after talking to jia yi..
I have to persevere..
haha I'm having dejavu again..
I had been having many dejavu recently!
Hmmm.. i got a hunch something is happening soon
not a good feeling though...

Life is a song and I'll play for you.