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random thoughts again...
Saturday, May 31, 2008 at 5/31/2008 04:29:00 PM

Sometimes it's scary
sometime it hurts.
To know that people aren't letting
Their true colour shows.

Sometimes it's awful
Sometimes I don't know how.
my heart tears
like those dead flowers.

People are hiding
people aren't speaking
Even if they do.
That's when they kill.

Pasts will always be pasts.
Time always pass.
If hatred can be resolved
killing will be solved.

Out there people are dying
people are regretting
But here we are hating
instead of loving.

I hope my message passes on
and u guys are willing to listen on.
Shouldn't we be loving one another
instead of fighting on?
Perhaps it's time to stop.
STOP those nasty fight from going on and on

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

All abOut him..
at 5/31/2008 02:44:00 PM

You are my sunshine
you are my light.
I'm missing you
every night...

I went out with him yesterday.
Ok we shall know him as hai ming k?
cos i think it sounds nicer.

I'm a bad girl!
I skipped my Malay lesson due to peer pressure.
Thanks to don and CY -.-
went to eat Suki buffet and yup!
AND i was SOOO full that i couldn't eat with him.
Then my fault lor -.-
He say he wait for me.
BUT i wanted to eat lunch ma..
IT'S the BUFFET fault!

ANY way we went to watch the
MOH (maid of honor)
It was DAMN funny!
I'll rate it at 7/10.
It's quite sweet though..
BUT i pity the groom..

We went to take neo print.
and OMG SO long never take neoprint it was bad!
He complained he looked ugly at every single picture
except for 1.
So yeah. he took the two big pic!
and i took the rest!

Who asked me more photogenic?
CY asked me to take many pics of me and him.
but cant la..
COS i was DAMN ugly that day.
So we ended up taking none.
He send me home
and TATA!
that was the end of the day!

FINALLY i got to meet him!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

some updates
Thursday, May 29, 2008 at 5/29/2008 09:04:00 PM

First thing first!
I finally finished my agnes assignment!!!!
Now printing in process.
Have to really thank lay har from helping me
at the same time thank her sis to copy paste to word pad.

OK! went SCC yesterday for monthly performance
and yeah!!!
received LOTS of constructive feedback!
many said I've improved!
however, I need to work on my fluency of the song when i sing
Many times, i break at many parts of the song
and it makes me sound very BUMPY!!!
SO i need to JY!!!!
haha :)

To Dearest,
Since now you'll be reading my post, i shall write for u something. HAHA
ok sorry for everything yeah? for being overly sensitive and overly suspicious -.- BUT i couldn't help it. It always seems like i am more concerned for u and u like hack care me sometimes. -.-
haha.. maybe i am holding on to u too tightly. later u fly away because the string snapped. so yeah i know what to do. I think it's time to release the string a little cause i wouldn't like it if i were u.
see i so sweet right? i got think of ur feelings leh.. WAHAHA!!! ok we are meeting tml. so yeah i couldn't WAIT!!!!
for donkey ages i can meet u le! YAY!!! see ya tml.

Hmm... abt sian liao cos i got nth 2 say anymore..
BUT i got some clubbing pictures!! so yeah
i upload it now! haha

he say he look like chee goh pek at this pic

trying to act cute. BUT i am CUTE! LOL

I looked sexy here~ weets~~ but sry ar. my bra eye sore-.-

MY hand SOOO fat!!!

MY FAVE PICTURE!!! full of emotions! LOL

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

updates on 24 and 25 April
Monday, May 26, 2008 at 5/26/2008 09:25:00 PM

OK since i finished part of ms anges assignment
I shall start blogging!
Let me update u on what happened on sat and sun

24th may
Went clubbing with Jia yi Meihar Steve and Ken
Ken really clubber lor!
Know every single thing.
So yeah!
Very touched! Because Jia Yi told them
that if any1 PS!
He won 4 give them!!!
OMG he did that for me!
and i PS him before
make me so so guilty :(
OK but it wasn't much fun
the music so sian.
ONLY meihar so high!!!
AND we are her pillar.
she knocked me here and there!
and end up i grind other guys!
And she SLAPPED my breast!
damn pain la!
still angry with me sia -.-
BUT mei har i 4give u because of ur effects of alcohol!
tell u guys joke of the month.
Jia yi was telling me about a girl
she look like me from her dressing

mei har: what are u guys talking about
Jiayi: nth important
Meihar: share la!
Jia Yi : don't want! later u chey!
Meihar: i swear i won!
Jiayi: i was telling avier that that girl over there *point* got her 味道
(that girl gives me a feeling of avier)
Meihar:That girl so far away u can smell meh?
We burst out laughing!
Even as i wrote about it I'm still laughing!
she literally thought jiayi is talking abt smell!
and after that we went home.
25th May
OK so I slept till 3 plus in the afternoon.
And went to meet Ben at 6 plus 7
Supposed to meet at 6
but yeah some 1 was late -.-
We went to Ehub and it was like!
SUCKY! so big yet so bored!
nth to shop!
ended up we went white sand to eat!
MY FAVE!!! Kfc!!!
we shopped awhile and went back home
since there's practically nth!!!
We went under my block to chat.
Suddenly he say
Do you know i Like you?
i went all quiet and reply oh.

Ben: *hold my hand* so can be my gf?
Me: *take hand away and cover face*
Ben: Why?
Me: I don't know what to say! SHY!!!
Ben: look at me!
Me: NO!
Ben: ok u make me shy now
*remove hand*
Because we were sitting at the void deck stool it was uncomfortable
and my block have those bench that u can lie on
Ben: How abt we go to bench and sit so can lean back?
Me: fine with me
*he starts holding my hand and says Now u are my gf*
so yup and i am with him
However i have some doubts :(
cos we only knew each other for 2 weeks plus.
And i think maybe..
maybe.. we might not last u see.
BUT oh well
fuck it la! let's just be optismistic.
the most he ain't my guy.. LOL
look for new 1 then!

k la i shall stop here! tata!!!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

If I Only had 24 hour to live
Saturday, May 24, 2008 at 5/24/2008 05:46:00 PM

Seriously have u all ever wondered
What will u guys do when You are only left with
24 hours to live?
It's time to think about it.
Because no one knows when
U might just suddenly drop dead.

BUT if i Knew that i have another 24 hour before
I leave this world
This is what i will do:

8am-9am: I will Brush my teeth and eat my breakfast with my Paternal grandma.
U know It's being a very long time
since i practically sit down at the kitchen
eating breakfast with my grandma.
There is SOOO many things I would like to tell her.
Even though she is very naggy at times -.-
And very unreasonable at times-.-
I still love her alot.
I remembered There's 1 period of time
i kept dreaming that she passed away!
and guess what she say?
I know u can't wait for me to die
I am like WTF!
IT hurts!
I cried waking up from my sleep because i thought she's dead.
UNTIL after crying awhile i realised IT's a dream
and She ACTUALLY said that!
BUT i don't blame her.
cos she's already so old tends to think more.
I wanna thank her for taking care of me
since young
U know i am able to grow up without bruises
because she's always the 1 falling
JUST to prevent me from falling :p

8-8.30 am: I will tell my Paternal grandpa sorry and called my aunt (father's sister).
Because I always disliked him and thinks that he is the worst grandpa.
but recently i just sort out that he can be quite nice at times.
Aunt: Teach me many things. And talk to me when i was young
like my second mother.
But as i grow up we drifted But we still talk occasionally.
and i thanked her for that.

8.30-1.30 am: Go find my mummy and aunt and do shopping together for the LAST time
They always shop at this type of timing -.-
bounded by children haha!
And really had to thank my aunt ALOT
because she really dote on me when my mum had left me
AND i wanna tell my mum alittle secret.
I was very happy when she left me! haha
Because finally no 1 caned me!
BUT when time goes by
I hate it!
Because of the emotional stress i had to faced
No right or wrong education
However i accept her decision
because she is happier :)
And besides she at least still care for us :)

1.30- 3.30 pm: I will go back to SCC
and practise my songs
Together with Jia Yi they all! haha
They are the ones who made my poly life GREAT!!!
AND i want them to make a CD of me singing :)
Singing 如果
It's the best song i written so far.
And tell Jiayi that sometimes I ps u
some times i am insensitive
BUT know for sure i never did it on purpose :)
cos u're the last person i would want to hurt :)
ok sounds mushy -.-

3.30-4.30 pm : I wanna go find my mother's side grandpa.
It's being a long time since I visit him!
Chinese New year till now :(
I remember how nice he used to treat me.
Buy me things i like and stuff
I wanna buy him portable radio.
Because his current ones are malfunctioning soon.
ACTUALLY I always say that
BUT i haven bought him 1 yet.
Cos I have bad money management.

4.30- 6.30 pm: I wanna eat dinner with ANNIE and SHERMAIN
Because they are my primary school and secondary school
Best friends.
And i wanna share my last day with them
Annie: best soul mate.. Only u know what i want. and sorry sometimes
i am quite a bitch. Insensitive to your when you are sick and all.
BUT i am guilty just that u know i am stubborn like hell
i will never confess i am in the wrong
Main: Sometimes i hate u cos u always ps me! Literally ALWAYS!
BUT I like u because u are there and a very good listener.
LOL and even though sometimes u don understand what i say
u say u do to appease me
and really appreciate that! BUT i discover that le!

6.30-7.00 pm : I wanna call Jocelyn and Fion
Though now we are more like strangers then friends
BUT i like to thank them for being my friend and tolerate
ALL my nonsense when i was in secondary school
BUT now they have their FRIENDS and BFS
we drifted apart
I am quite disappointed with u because u never change
always full of excuse.
u know who u are.

I used to be an ASS HOLE friend
What i want i MUST get!!!
And because of that!
I learned MANY hard lesson in Life.
BUT all four of them are always there with me!

7.00-8.00 pm : I wanna watch tv.
I know it sounds Stupid -.-
BUT i won have a chance to watch TV anymore.
so i HAVE to get that chance right ? LOL

8.00- 9.00 pm: I wanna Use computer.
same reasons as above :p

9.00 - 10.00 pm : I wanna talk to my dad!
I have SOOO many things to tell him!
I wanna say I hate him!!!
I hate him for mistaking that caring for his child
means giving me a shelter and food
hating him for not even bothering to talk to me at all
hating him for not even bothering to ask me how's school?
hating him for not even bothering to ask
how's life
hating him for putting himself before me
BUT despite all these I Thank him for giving me a life
although this world is not perfect
my life is not perfect
but i met many wonderful people
and maybe because of all these
I am different from Others.
And LASTLY i always wanted to tell him
it is OKAY for him to have a gf
he doesn't need to be so secretive
BUT i never got the courage to tell him..

10.00 to the moment i Die : If i have a bf i will spend it with him
If not i will spend it alone
BUT the things i will do is still the same
I will read my diary.
laugh through my memories
and cry through my memories
with him by my side would be the best! haha
BUT it's OK even if it's on my own.
I want to look back on all those beautiful
and ugly memories
thinking how much I've changed
and sleep and die peacefully.
If he is there with me
i wanna share my past with him
Tell him I love him.
And let him know how silly i was in my past :)
And i need him to do 1 thing for me
ask him to tell every one that I don't want them to cry on
the day i die.
Cause i cant face the fact and i will be very sad if they cry.
I want them to smile :)
choose to live life happily!
cos i despise ppl who indulge in self pity FOREVER!
it's ok to grumble about life once in awhile
i DO that too.
BUT after grumbling! stand up and move on!
and u will see life in a new light.

OK i said all that is not because i predict I'm dying soon
But all these are the things i wanted to say!
like for so long
AND I'm afraid that one day i just passed away
and i never had the chance to say
cos life is unpredictable.
i put this post up is so that
if i really die (CHOY!)
pls help me tell my family.
Cos i know they will never get to see this
as for friends.. :)
all these are what i want to say to u :)

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

We Gone our separate ways And think that's the best way...
at 5/24/2008 12:40:00 AM

Today It's not a very good day after all.
so for Petrina's Presentation we separated.
And I'm pissed.
But I'm not pissed that U changed Your mind :)
Don't worry.
I understand perfectly that when u do more of those things
U might feel uneasy
hence u don't want to talk about it.
Even though i sound harsh i apologize.
The main reason of me being pissed is
I realised that some 1 in our team
is not being truthful at all.
And I really fear that this will lead to another backstabber case.
If u are unhappy
U say..
Don't show me a black face
and treat as nth happen.
I rather we talk things out
then only know u are angry with me
and stuff through your blog.
The worst thing is
U always make me the one that look bad.
U were unhappy with the group member as well
for not doing any work.
BUT u did not even voice it out.
U only dare to say u hate her infront of me
even when the authorities asked about it.
U say nth.
then after that there u go complaining again..
And the way u deal thing.
It scares me.
Because i dunno when i will be the one that gets BANG
and say bye bye.
And u guys were the one wanting the topic
and u're oso the ones that wanna cancel the topic.
I just don't want research to go to waste.
if u are unhappy
don't stand there and give me a black face.
I know sometimes i am very harsh for my words
BUT i am never good with words
BUT i can at least say
I can answer to what ever i say
how about u?
saying this but your actions prove otherwise.
ALL i want is the best for my group.
Because this results stays for us for YEARS
if u don't want to enter poly.
Tell me.
Cos i want, I won tolerate the work to be done hastely.
so I'm sorry if u feel I've been controling.
Maybe i should watch my words.
BUT again all I want is the best for our works.
And once again.
If u still think that we are friend
the LEAST u can do is
be truthful in ur feelings
cos we are your friends not your foes

went to scc just now.
practice our song for mp.
and i think i did pretty well.
didn't go off beat too much
and manage to reach the keys.
now i need to work on the quality of my voice.
Haiz went to eat dinner with gary they all.
and i waste money on cab
BUT no choice.
I missed my last bus.
GOT to take before midnight charge.
:( sad..
That money wasted..

anyway had a tiring day today!
tml need to attend grease.
so I'm sleeping soon!
TATA all!!!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

A great day yesterday!!!!
Thursday, May 22, 2008 at 5/22/2008 06:16:00 PM

Went back to NP for SCC yesterday!!!
AND i got a surprise!!!
SEE the strawberry short cake above?
It's for ME!!!
AND omg!!! it was so so delicious!!!
The whole SCC sing for me!!
so touched!!! T.T
BUT I'm not the only 1.
Hui yi birthday falls on Yesterday.
And hers was black forest!!!
so nice la!!
BUT sadly my cake fall down!!!
and it became squashed cake.
we ate the part that doesn't land on the floor.
and I'm sad.
Jia yi, May be u can consider buying me the same cake
since it's so delicious!!
And really really have to thank the
main com and those who helped them
cos yeah!
u guys made my day!!!
but many mistaken my birthday was yesterday!!
but oh well!
it's ok!!!
i shall forgive u guys!!
nth much to post le.
go play games! tata!!

below are some of my zhi lian pics! wahaha!

say cheese!!!!

I need a BIG WET kiss :x
I look sweet here! I KNOW!!! :p

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

End of BIRTHDAY!!!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008 at 5/20/2008 11:51:00 PM

OK!!! I'm Disappointed!!
I cant upload the shockwave
animations Chien Wen made for me!!
SOOO sad!!!
It was so so cute!!
And i Thought it was sweet of her:)

And!! BIMBO is so cute too
She called me and say.
someone's birthday reaching in 20 mins time.
I was like uhuh? *blur*
Can i wished u a happy birthday?
Tml i have test got to sleep early!
I Laughed!!!!
She's silly, BUT i appreciate it!

Many ppl wished me happy birthday.
And whole class sang birthday song for me twice.
Dorcas asked.
What's my birthday wish?
was my reply..
haha but quite hard, since i am always tempted by food.

I got my body shop perfume!!!
AHHH so happy!!!
Then met Annie and she got ma a bag.
BUT buckle is not there cos
we didn't check.
so yeah
waste of money
will check tml.
And met up with main.
We cleared some misunderstanding
And Ok.
I 4give her.

BUT main.
Don't make me disappointed again!!!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

Monday, May 19, 2008 at 5/19/2008 11:20:00 PM

I was practicing my reading skill as usual
This book is from my ITE
and I cried.
It is not those very touching type.
BUT as i read along,
I can sense the loneliness of the folk.
I would like to share it with you guys.

This is about a guy called Shan An sharing his experiences.
One day
he went to an old folks home to do some volunteering work
And after moving and finished the tasks
assigned to them
they were satisfied.
Because they saw how happy it made the old folks felt.

While the others was chatting with the old folks.
Anna and Shan An went to explore the home.
They saw this room where about 10 residents were lying down.
The atmosphere was dreary.

One of the nurse told them that,
the room was reserved for patients who were unable to move.
They spent most of their time watching days go by.
Most of them had stayed there for close to 10 years.

Anna persuaded Shan an to go into the room with him.
He was hesitant at first.
But end up they still went inside.
They talked to the resident and shook some of their hands.
Even though some could not talk and looked as if they did not understand.
But Shao an felt great because he knew that
The old folks must have felt somethings inside
Just like the way he did.

When they reached the last resident, Danny (fake name)
His eyes were out of focus and he drool all over his shirt.
Anna proceeded to talk to him and shook his hand.
Shao an hesitated at first BUT still went along with it.
When they were about to leave.
They noticed Danny had his both his arms up,
as if he wanted a hug
Shao An felt deep within himself the urge to respond.
So he gave him a hug.

It was a simple hug.
When they turned to leave.
They heard a sob.
The nurse that had brought them in had tears flowing down her cheek.
The nurse pointed to the old man and shared that
it was the first time in 15 years that she had seen Danny smiled.
Since his family stop visiting him.

I cried..
Because for 15 years no 1 had given him a hug.
A simple hug was all it took to make him happy.
After 15 LONG years.
It is not a touching story.
But i understand how it felt.
To be that lonely.
I am luckier then him
Because before he died.
People he loved stopped visiting him.

Sometimes you might think that your little act of appreciation
does not really mean anything to others.
It may be true in some cases
there are other times when it might mean something to them.
To the world u maybe 1 person
BUT to 1 person u maybe the world.
If u can.
Please do a little thing to help them happy.
even a small little things like smiling
u can make some one's day :)

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

2 more days to BirtHdaY!!!!
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 5/18/2008 09:43:00 PM

I spent the entire day whining at home!
On how sick i was and stuff!!!
and yeah!
It sucks to the max!
no fun
no care
no love and all
The only love i received from
was from belinda..
as in pure concern.
The rest?
well. Just woo haaing me..
if u don't get what it means.
It's ok.
I am just too bored and starts rumbling here.
Come to realise something.
for the past 18 years,
Every years there seems to be
some major turning point that led me
to be more stronger.
But this year there isn't.
Of course i shouldn't pray for it to happen.
BUT without them?
I couldn't sense the care and concern
from people i really really care.
Why is it that
only when I'm in my most down period?
People care for u the most?
Or is it because when i'm at my most vulnerable?
Then i start to cherish people around me?
I really don't know.
But life just feels so empty some how.
without love.
Maybe because when i was happily
enjoying myself.
I never did care about them as well.
But i really feel empty.
this happiness i had.
It's all not genuine.
May be we really have to experience sadness.
Before u really feel HAPPY once and for all.
Maybe it's time to show more care
towards everything around me.
I shouldn't take things for granted i guess.
And i guess i did for the past 5 mths.

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

2 more days to BirtHdaY!!!!
at 5/18/2008 07:35:00 AM

It sucks to be sick!
Especially in the middle of the night!
I was sleeping and suddenly i felt very very warm
I woke up to adjust my fan.
My stomach feel sooo BLOATED.
BUT i took no notice of it.

However, I could sleep no more.
My stomach was killing me.
Suddenly, I have THE urge to PUKE!!!
and once i started, it NEVER stop!!!!
every 5 minutes- 10 minutes I puke!
It was such an awful feeling.
Because u can basically feel your WHOLE
stomach flip while u puke!

I made such a commotion that my Grandpa woke up.
And he asked my Grandma to wake up too.
His care and concern touched me!
cos i Don't really like him.
But I've changed my view towards him!
at least he is better den my dad.
Who only wants to sleep.
I really don't understand him!
Does he really think that having children
is just feeding them and giving them a home to them?

Other people are poor as well
But why is it their parents show much more concern to them
and my dad just put his own interest before us
Even my MUM shows more concern.
I am no longer living with her.
She can jolly well don't care about us!
Because she already has her own family.
BUT she still cared about us!
I am very disappointed with my dad.
But what am i to say?

I went to see a doctor
and omg!!!
the whole thing caused $96 dollar.
At first i was afraid i would puke after taking the medicine
because whatever i take
it ALL came out!
that i basically puke plain water out!

And my worry was true!
i did puke out the medicine!
BUT thank god,
only once and after that i start to feel better!!!
i even had diarrhea !
OK it is going to sound gross!
even as i puke,
the shit just came out!

because it is so so watery!
that my muscle couldn't control it!
It feels like u are urinating.
Just that it's from your ass.

And because of that!
i feel so tired!
That i just want to sleep!
BUT now i couldn't sleep
i dOn't know why either.
so ya
So i thought i should just share with u!
on how sucky i feel!!!
It really sucks to the max
to feel so shitty!!!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

3 more days to BirtHdaY!!!!
Saturday, May 17, 2008 at 5/17/2008 02:35:00 PM

I was reading blogs when i came across this blog.
go take a look.
He had many nice post and
some u really can agree to
It will start u thinking.
There is this post
which caught my attention.

Never Start a Relationship So Soon As That Will Kill It Faster

So from this title u know what it is roughly to be like.
and i DO agree with what he says.
he said that before starting a r/s
they should know each other first and be friends
the longer the better till they become best of friends.
then they will last longer.
but to me this is a fairy tale.
Of course there are some who last
but it's minority.

People always rushed into r/s.
But i personally feel that Sometimes they tried it
because they feel that why not give it a try.
maybe we might last.

I used to carry this mentality.
But i sorted it out. Because Whenever u just try.
U don't even know him well!
His habit? His likes and dislikes?

when quarrel arises.
You cant solve it
So i agree we should really take things slow.
NOt just rushed into it after a few weeks.
BUT i do not agree that after u guys become best friend.
Then u start the r/s.
Because what if u guys broke up?
It's really sad to lose a best friend.

Because u guys are best friend.
There is Some one who understands u,
Know how to make u happy and many more.
BUT because of the strain r/s u guys are no more friends.
It is such a waste isn't it?

Again u may say they can still be friends.
But i always believe once there is this strain in any form of r/s.
u friendship wouldn't be like the past.
It will NEVER get better.

Also, When u know some1 too well before starting a r/s then.
THere is no element of surprise in it.
your r/s will be like a smooth journey.
NO bumps here and there.
Then what's the use or r/s?
In a r/s there are many obstacles.
For us to overcome.
when we cant overcome it.
we break up!
and we say bye bye to our loved ones.
BUT if we can over come it!
our r/s had rise up to another level.
That's the best part of being in a r/s.
BUT if u 2 were to be close friends.
U already know all these.
because u know each other so so well to avoid conflict.
To do what pleases your other half.
Then where is the element of surprises?

SO i think the best thing is,
Get to know the person first.
Understand what type of person he/she is.
Just briefly understand there's no need to be friends,
and know that person for half a year before starting a r/s.
To me just try to understand what type of person he / she is.
For like 2-4 months?
NOT just start chasing or accepting the person because of how he/she look.
Or how much u want to be in a r/s.
Because u will never get a lasting r/s.

Of course i am just sharing my view :) so no offense :)

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

4 more days to BirtHdaY!!!!
Friday, May 16, 2008 at 5/16/2008 06:00:00 PM

I went over stop again-.-
this time round it isn't because i fall asleep.
It's because i was SOOOO engrossed
in my newspaper that missed my stop.
Instead of alighting at bishan
I dropped off at Ang Mo Kio.
which is quite retard!

Then after taking the mrt back to bishan
i saw chinn yee and Ivy
and LUCKILY we were not late!
Ok so lesson starts and ends.

And yup!
we change group for our proj
and i am afraid it wouldn't work
cos this time we'll be working with
people we are not familiar with.
BUT luckily belinda still same group with me ("v")

after school we went for a talk
This lady she has 13 years of experience
from an assistance teacher
to a centre manger or 2 centres
And she told us about her journey
And i realise it will be tough
especially us.
people from ite
cos most of us either don't have
5 credit for O levels
or B4 for english.

But i really really wanna take a degree!
and be a child psychiatric!

Today Belinda told me something lame
Belinda: I am happy!!!
Me: why?
Belinda: Cos i saw him today :)
Me: haha just being silly
Belinda: I know u sure think I very stupid de
Me: No lor I understand
Me: cos when i see yao ann! i feel so happy!!!

(shriek!!! Jump around!!)
Belinda: -.-
Belinda: u are not being silly u are being stupid
Me: -.-
Belinda: haha actually i say u stupid i oso!

haha but was glad
Belinda manged to chill out with us for awhile!
ok la i shall stop here!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

just another random thoughts from things around me
Thursday, May 15, 2008 at 5/15/2008 06:41:00 PM

I don't understand it!
she's doesn't deserve all these!
She loved u truly
But u ended up giving her nothing!

Because of you
she's not allowed to go out with friends.
Because of you
she can only see us enjoy...
you have every right to suspect her
BUT she has no right to even question you!

Now u leave her in a lurch..
Giving her a cold shoulder.
have you ever wondered?
How much she actually suffered?

But not once did she ever complain.
instead she took great pains!
covering up for u
despite what we said!

To think u can still enjoy!
while she cried till her eyes are sore
seeing u with that girl
Her hearts are pierced with thorns.

Love is about giving and taking
But i could only see u taking
Why can't u just trust her for once?
even if it's fake!
she really doesn't deserve all that!
all the nonsense that she gets!
because she loves u
no matter what it takes.

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

5 more days to my birthday :)
at 5/15/2008 06:31:00 PM

Since it's my birthday soon!
AND i have been pestering many people
to buy me presents!
haha i am just joking la!
BUT if u guys really want to buy me present
and don't know what to buy.
let me make some wishlist here.
and u decide what to buy for me?

1. contact lens solution
2. Pencil Eyeliner
3. Body shop perfume (white musk)
4. Colour contact ( prefer blue/ brown deg 100 for both eyes)
5. a backpack ( i am in need of it)
6. a glue for my fake eyelash

So far these are the things i need
and all of the items cost less then $20
except item number 5
but money is not an issue
i prefer people getting me something i can use
instead of buying me some expensive soft toys
end up i don't use!

ok i know i very thick skin to post this here.
but just in case u all wondering what to buy
now u guys know :) hehe

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

5 more days to my birthday :)
at 5/15/2008 06:03:00 PM

Today is not really a good day
But oh well fuck it!

But i really have to comment.
Every where u go u see hypocrite.
And she is damn good at denying her words
making me sound like i am saboing her
well if that's the case
it's ok.
I have to admit i am pissed at first.
but i think through it.
TIME will prove everything.
BUT it's a sad case for u
We are just a group of ppl going out to sing
having the passion of singing
Do u think all these is necessary?
I definitely don't think so
But if u think u will be happier this way.
good luck lady.
because while u are lecturing me
do look at yourself :)

I had a bad start in school today!
i overslept in the bus and end up
i have to alight at JUNCTION 8
I know it's no big deal!
BUT the travelling distance from J8 is a little further!
BUT the important part is i am on a verge of shitting!
so i rushed to the school
Trying to find a toilet!
and sadly enough
i tried 3 toilets but NONE have toilet paper!
i was like OMG!
and i am pissed!
In the end..
I had to bear for 2 hours
before going to shit!
and Whoa!
and I finally get the pleasure of shitting.

warning : do not take shitting for granted!
enjoy every moment!
because u might never know when u wanna shit
but u couldn't!
the feeling sucks!!!

Today at Petrina's class
I had a bit of argument
with DON DON
because of the topic we need to choose for the presentation.
They wanted to do virtual r/s
BUT i am not a gamer
cos i know nth of it.
Then i won have anything to present.
Then i said to him,
he says u normally present liao
we present la!
i was like each and every 1 of us is expected
to present at least 5 slides
if not i will get 0
and he doesn't get it -.-
BUT the matter is solve!
we decided to do on cults!!!
and now we are OBSESSED with satanic!
whatever we do
we relate to them!
damn crazy la!
BUT it was fun!!!

Basically that's about all for today's event!
so yup!
not a fantastic day!
but at least it's full of activities!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

Continuation of the post just now.
Monday, May 12, 2008 at 5/12/2008 10:46:00 AM

Actually i Got Nothing to say
But somebody lead me with something to say
and I am a little pissed now.

This person call wei qi came up in msn
and say:
Next time don't ask if
me and *Alan are together.
We both don't feel too good about it!

Then i was like
I didn't know u got bf
if i know i wouldn't be that stupid to ask.
Then she said: good.
Den i say: Anyway if u all don't want people to
talk about u
den don't stick so close to avoid misunderstanding la.
Den she say
We are close but just friends.

TO me: You all have to pay responsible for your own actions.
You guys stick so close
sure people will misunderstand.
Den when people asked
u say u don't feel too good.
i mean misunderstanding ought to happen.
If u have a clear conscience
DEN what for don't feel good?

Besides i am JUST asking.
I did not go around telling people
so do stay cool and relax.

Because i don't like to be ordered around.
I mean if u were to ask me nicely say
can u don't drag me and *Alan together
i don't mind.
But u type like i know u damn well
and i HAVE to oblige what u say.

Besides Yesterday in msn
U don't seem unhappy about me talking about u and Alan
U asked so many questions.
Den today say you don't feel good.
I'm sorry wei qi
but your actions doesn't fit your word

once again.
You don't want people to misunderstand.
Den don't stick so close
If u wanna stick close
then be COOL about it.

*name had been changed and for the other 1 i will not change because yeah i AM talking about u.
Too bad

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

countdown: 8 more days to Birthday!!!!!
at 5/12/2008 10:09:00 AM

argh!!! have diarherra 2 day!
so never go school!
It's 10:16 now.
With nth to do!
So i blog lor..
I need to see a doc later.
confirm there would be a long queue anyway!

now now.. what should I talk about?
Ok yesterday i went KTV
with a bunch of KTV lover
enjoyed it!
and they video me!
if the comm members upload le
i will put here!
let u guys hear my beautiful voice!

haiz wanna talk oso nth to talk!
shall stop here!

ps: Birthday is coming don't forget!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

Countdown: 10 more days to avIer"s BirThday :)
Saturday, May 10, 2008 at 5/10/2008 09:50:00 PM

went for audition for grease to get a role.
I guess i screwed it ALL up!
And i guess i only get a small small role :(
Now I'm in annie house!
I missed her SOOO SOOO much!!!
And so happy to see her again!
I guess i would have alot to tell her.
So i decided to stay over at her hse.
I was eating desert with her
when suddenly i saw LEON
he's a hairdresser
and OMG!
he changed so much!
look like 1 ahbeng!
and he looks a little like JIMSON (my ex)
he said i grow prettier!
*flys up to the sky*
OK tml i'm going to party world!
I cant wait!
i'm so excited now!
singing is everything!
and i need some singing theraphy!
SINCE i am not getting any acting role!
Oh well.
try harder next time ba!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

What is the opposite of LOVE?
Wednesday, May 7, 2008 at 5/07/2008 10:31:00 PM

OK! just back from tutoring kenneth!
PHEW! finally!
I have been tutoring him 3 days non stop
and now it's time to rest!
haha! so happy!
And he did something nice.
After teaching him,
He passed me a drawing.
of me and him
and he drew a speech bubble.
It says: Thank you for coming after school
everyday to teach me for my exams
I was touched T.T

OK back to what happened today.
Went to macperson ITE for a principal talk.
I SLEPT through the WHOLE talk!
cos it was sooo boo-or-ing.
But when it was some inspirational talk
I was lived up once again.
And one particular sentence caught my attention

What is the opposite of love?

It's not hate u know?
It's indifference.
When u don't even care anymore.
which sadly for my family
it works that way.
the speaker was saying that he quarrelled with his
son very often
But one day,
his son told him somethin nice.
daddy, not bad,
the speaker asked why?
We always quarrel
The son replied well at least we quarrel.
that means we interact some people don't even quarrel.

I agreed totally with him
the amount of time i talk to my dad
can be counted.
i only talk to him when i need money.
i go: Pa i need money.
tata! that's all!
pathetic right?
But what can i do?
haiz that's all
I'll stop here
sleepin soon!

Night night

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

Last post about her..
Monday, May 5, 2008 at 5/05/2008 10:21:00 PM

OK! I have extended my hair!!!
Nice right!
I think so too!

I feel so bad and guilty today!
Cos i basically slept through the whole 2 hour lesson
of Ms Agnes!
BUT i did apologize to her..

Ok back to topic.
I am going to say my piece here
about evon and I'm not
going to talk about her anymore.
Cos I've decided to forgive her.
BUT i will not forget what she done.
I'll just have to keep a distance from her

Cause i agree with ms agnes
in life there are all types of ppl
BUT i haven got used to it!
and i guess evonne is a task send to me to overcome!
no point getting angry over these type of people.

But i really despise her.
Cos till now she don even admit
that she said I'm ugly.
And when she finally admit she say jus joking manner.
what a lame ass.
I mean don tell me Ivy yuzhen and layhar
wanna sabo her.
3 mouth leh?
Then say police not she call.
gangster not she find.
then say that she feel offended when i scold vulgarities
spam her blog -.-
if she feel offended still ask people spam my blog?
haha but oh well! gain some fame though.

Anyway i don't believe police is not she call de
But that's my perception la...
Some 1 so cunning like her.
always change her words
i rather believe none she said..

Ok enough about her.
Recently so many projects coming up.
and i am pissed with one of my project mate.
cause whenever we ask my project mate to find things
my project mate ALWAYS got excuse.
oh well that's life.
we met with all types of ppl.
Juz accept it ba.
BUT if cross over limit.
I might juz explode..
enough of saying.
time to rest!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 5/04/2008 10:41:00 PM

Firstly i would wanna
apologise to my grp J2ABCD!
I was supposed to be back
for a meeting online
But i forgotten!
Really sorry!!!

Ok !
today so so la!
went out today with nan
we went bugis
eat steamboat for lunch
was like damn full till cant walk la!

Den after that we went to watch movie
Guess what did we watch?
The forbidden kingdom!!!
haha.. that sparrow damn chio la!
very oriental!

But due to somethings
i was quite disappointed today.
But i cant say..
and i'm waiting for a call
but it's not here yet
which makes me even more disappointed.

Haiz! ya i am short tempered!
but am trying to change!
short temper is my weakness and
it will cause me to fail deeply in life!
it's something i have to overcome!
so jia you avier!!

u can do it!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 5/03/2008 11:36:00 PM

I kill time by taking photos of myself

Don force me to upload this! haha
Patrick and me!

Ejay and me!

Last but not least! Melissa!

This will be my last time looking like this!

After my post den don don send me the pics.
so i uploaded it as another
post! enjoy!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

at 5/03/2008 11:17:00 PM

I'm so happy today!
Did something to myself.
But I'm keeping it in suspense till it's time.

Remember i have some voluntary work?
yup went to help
and once again!
i saw the geeky cute guy again!
But he cut his hair not geeky le!
haha but nonetheless!
when i see him i still blush!

I played with the child and ya!
those that are 8- 12 mths
are still trying to crawl and walk!
and some are faster then the others!
and they are ALL so cute!
Then we worked with some of the part timers there
But picture is with don don -.-
And he is too lazy to transfer
so yup too bad..

And tell u guys something exciting!
before going home
we got some doubts need to clear with
So i called him!
and he answer and we cleared our doubt.
I thought he would juz hang when he said
are u avier?
i am like ya how do u know.
He replied i just guess.
And he starts asking me whether i can cope
and when will be my next time
going back again!

I am so happy!
although it's nth grand!
but some 1 that u lust after
is asking u things u never expect!
It juz makes me feel good!!!

wahah! ok la
shall stop here
talk another time!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

I'm becoming famous.
Friday, May 2, 2008 at 5/02/2008 11:36:00 PM

Didn't go school once again
got a bad headache
cough and sore throat.
I know ICB misses me!

Afternoon went to kenneth(cousin) House
to tutor him.
since his exam on monday..
Just came back home
and i am damn damn tired
Tml got to attend the voluntary work
and I'm looking forward to it!

Hey! I'm so happy!
I didn't know that
by saying my self attractive i got so
much attention.
be it good or bad i don really care.
But WOW! i got the most attention from that post
becoming more and more famous haha.
It's just so Just so funny..
when u see a simple thing
can produce so many different perspective.

Oh well,
That's life.
And in life
We shouldn't change
because of other's passing remarks
That is how u get your self confidence.
So when people put u down and say
u sucks.
Don't care..
There are people out there who thinks that u are great.

So Xue ting.
Don't because of what one person say
and u start giving up on singing.
It isn't worth it!
live for yourself.
People say that i shouldn't say myself
attractive because it cracks them up.
It's a disturbance
but does it matter?
what matter is I'm happy with what i said!

so once again.
*avier is an attractive girl*
way to go baby!
And Xue ting don't EVER give up
on your singing!
because with more practise u can be good!
I have confidence in u!
so u must have it too!

ok gtg now tml got to wake up
damn damn early!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.

The flirting game
Thursday, May 1, 2008 at 5/01/2008 09:17:00 PM

What seems like an innocent game
isn't so innocent afterall
I once again read too much into it
and get myself hurt from all..

I thought he was different
I thought he watches his words
however i should have known
the flirting game wouldn't end that innocent.

He isn't good looking.
He isn't perfect
He's isn't the guy
i wanted that bad

But as time goes by
I look into him deep
I was mesmerized
by the intelligent he had.

I guess it's my fault
I got it all wrong
when he say he likes me
he doesn't mean it at all.

I guess it's my fault
I got it all wrong.
when he say he loves me
it's just an obligations to our flirting games

I should just halt!
I should just stop!
what meant to be a flirting game
would never be the start of my relationship.

I guess i should just hold back.
hold back for someone that's worth it all

OK.. IT's all my fault
I know i won cry because of him and all
but to think that i can be that stupid
to actually believe he's different
but i guess he played with his words too much
he don't know he had started the spark.
I should have known
it's all part and parcel of the flirting game.
I shouldn't have read too much into it.

Life is a song and I'll play for you.