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Thursday, July 31, 2008 at 7/31/2008 10:23:00 PM

I didn't went to school today
It's my fault
My hp low batt and it's off
so alarm didn't ring
and hence I slept till 9am
>.<

Anyway i receive a scholarship
and OMG!
The sum was quite huge..
AND i decided to not skip school
and study hard!
Because i want the MONEY!!!!
OK I may sound materialistic
BUT it's a good encouragement!
especially with that HUGE sum of money!!!

SO friends
if i ever skipped school again
pls tell me to think of the money..

Shall stop here..
tata!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Wednesday, July 30, 2008 at 7/30/2008 07:34:00 PM

Throbbing headache...
Sleeping soon
just like to blog what happen today

Went to meet him after school
and we still quarrel
because when i pull his shirt
wanting him to hug me or hold me
he said not now
very embarrassing

Even after he explain what i think was not what he meant
I still cant help being angry
and i started dragging everything out ..
I dunno what to say anymore

Yes i still love him
And i love him so much that
If he is happier without me
I will leave him..
All the decision is up to him..

Although i relent and tr not to quarrel with him
I cant help thinking
the kiss he gave me
is superficial..
maybe I'm sensitive i dunno
I don't want to think so much anymore
shall leave everything to fate


Life is a song and I'll play for you.


at 7/30/2008 05:21:00 AM

heartbroken

我的心已撤撤底底的碎了
为何你要用最冷漠的方式
折磨着我
你说对不起
可是你造成的伤害
已烙印在心里
告诉我为何我要得到这种惩罚?

It's 5.30 in the morning
I didn't sleep well
My tears are drying soon
yes i cried again
because of him again
BUT this time i really cant take it
what have i done to deserve that?
I did my utter best to be a good gf
to trust him
BUT what i received was cold treatment from him.

He went MIA last night.
Although I am worried
i couldn't sleep
BUT i didn't cry
i try m very best to push everything behind.
by 4 plus i saw him online
but his phone is still off
I msn him he didn't reply
I have to beg him to reply me
and when he does reply guess what?

He: I am not in a good mood
hence no mood to talk or sms
Me: Is it because of me?
He: NO
He: It's my friend.
Me: Then what did i do to deserve this treatment?
Me: even if u were so stress at least tell me
He:sorry I am not a gd bf
Me: NO i am sorry
Me: sorry for the fact that to you i am such a nuiscance
Me: so much so that even u cant just send a messsge
to tell me you need some time alone.
Me: Sorry I portray such image
Me: I won disturb you again..

It continues on..
He tried persuading me
BUT guess what?
At 4 plus he told me he's tired and wanna sleep
ask me to get some sleep
4 plus? when i start preparing school at 5
It's fine with me
all i ask for is to hear his voice
Just before he sleep
BUT he rejected me
He tell me he is sorry
but yet this is the treatment i received..
why can't he just spare me 1 min
1 min to just hear his voice?

No i am not angry..
I am just so heart broken
it's like a few hours ago he just said he love me
and 7 plus he just said he will sms me when he reach home
and 8 plus?he went MIA.
And the reason being is he is stress and no mood to talk
and he don bother smsing me to inform me!
my heart ache
it ache so much..
now it make me wonder
what am i to him?
Is it because i am fat ?
That's y he feels that
he can treat me this way..

This is what i get for loving you
i dunno what else to say anymore..
I really don't..
don't tell me you love me or you're sorry
SHOW ME!
please...

这次的我无法停住眼泪
我什么都做不到
原来我所付出的在你眼里
什么都不是。。。
我真的真的好失望。

Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Monday, July 28, 2008 at 7/28/2008 05:25:00 PM

I have a joke of the day to tell you today
and I am that joker
quite a stupid joker indeed..
-.-

Went to Elias mall to check
the price of lamination service
and do some personal stuff after that
soon later i proceeded home
And from far i saw this bus with green tag stated town link
and 35-
i cant see the last number clearly
and i got up the bus
since this bus had no T
i did not alight at interchange
and to my horror
I discovered that it is 359 when it went to
it's destination to pick up passengers

and due to my ego
i did not have the gut to ring the bell and get down
so i went along and pretend that i wanted to take this bus.
LUCKILY for me that this bus only travels in
pasir ris
so i alight somewhere where there is bus
for me to bused back home
I am supposedly able to reach home by 4 plus
because of this mistake
only got to reached home at 5 plus..

When i reached home
I smell durian!
OMG a long time since I've eaten durian
and it was DELICIOUS!
Yummy!!!!


OK i need to say something
Today i offended some 1
either she's angry or sad i dunno
but yeah i apologise for the staightforwardness
but I did not regret what i say
I am really pissed with you
but not to the extend of angry
But don't I have the right to be angry?
If u really did a good job
and maybe I shouldnt complain
but so far u keep forgetting your things
yes i understand
ppl do forget
and you do have other things to worry abt
but we also have other things to worry abt
if we can do it
den i don see why u can't..
Anyway I just wanna be truthful to you
I don't want to tell you i am not pissed with you
end up i tell ppl i am pissed with you.
which is worst?
Of course if u prefer me to not tell you my true feeling
I can just jolly well shut up
but then
That's not what frien do
If i do that I am just being a two headed snake.

Once again sorry to hurt your feeling

Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Sunday, July 27, 2008 at 7/27/2008 08:40:00 PM

Hmm..
Haven bath
Now waiting for show to start
from the commercial break
Went out with Dearest yesterday
Met at Tampiness mall
And watch the Dark Knight
I shall rate it at 3.5/5
First part was quite boring
But as the show goes
It became more exciting
and WOW!
Christian Bale is so sexy
his eyes is gorgeous!
LOL

After the show we proceeded home
and on the bus back home
i saw Jocelyn!
I was like OMG!
It has been a long time since i see her
she was once my best friend
But perhaps
we did not play bball anymore
there's no common factor between us anymore
we drifted apart..
BUT it was good to see her again!
:)

Ok i Just saw the MP result
Dunno if i should be happy or sad
血got second last
however 棉花糖 got in second...
but I ain't really affected by the mp result
because whatever song i perform
never gets in first for mp before.
Maybe i don sing well enough ba.
BUT i am confident 血is gonna get in concert !
I have the confidence!
:)

OK i need to get going now
bathing soon heez :)

好想你
只分开了那一下下
好像分开一世似的
好想好想
抱紧你

Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Saturday, July 26, 2008 at 7/26/2008 06:33:00 AM

Ok it's 6.35 am in the morning
and I cant get to sleep
The reason being I slept too early last night
and my biological clock is too used
to waking up this early -.-
quite retard i know
But oh well..

Alot of thing ran through my mind
and i thought maybe i should blog it out
I'm so tired...
Tired of ppl always thinking
I'm angry for the slightest reason

During project It's always like that
Shermain said that maybe classmates don understand me well
and yeah..
But that's the way i talk
When i get excited over some things
My voice naturally gets higher
and ppl thinks that I'm angry
or sometimes i am pissed with myself
I am terrible at art
i feel irritated when i try to put
the pieces of info together in the brochure
and yet it looks ugly and disorientated
and i told jihan
ai ya anything la u put..
and she thought I'm angry.
BUT I am just pissed with myself that
it looks ugly no matter how i placed it
so i decide to let her decide..

Still rmb Fara asked me about the brochure
and she changed some idea without consulting us
to me it's not impt
because I am not gd at art
so I rather don make decision
The only thing I am worried about is
the brochure not enough space
But since she clarify her pointts i told her
ok
u ask the others
and she thinks that I'm angry even if I am not
by the way i am not harping on this matter
just that I need to explain why ppl think
I am angry
so no offense
this leads me to another pt

I HATE MSN!
Because I am so not good at typing
I am some one who pursue something real
I need to see the face
hear the voice etc..
In msn If i can type as short as possible
I will do that
and what i get is ppl telling me
I'm rude in msn
I'm angry
BUT how can you guys know
whether the person is rude or angry
when u cant even see the facial expression?

Haiz...
Am I really so unapproachable?
ppl thinks that I am angry for the slightest reason
OK
I admit I am some one who wants to win
I will put my best in a game
and hence agressive
BUT I am NOT a sore loser
I don get angry just because I lose.

Maybe I should make myself clear.
When I am angry
I don't talk to anyone
I show black face
Because I don't want to throw my temper at any one
I prefer to shut up
SO PLEASE don assume I'm angry for the slightest reason
Because it's tiring
Tiring to explain that i am not angry
and yet I don't know if the receiver gets my message
or simply doubting me..

I admit I have a short temper
and i get irritated easily
BUT angry and irritated is different
I am still trying to change my temper
But I am not a super woman
I take 2 years to change my bad temper to short temper
BUT now it's already four years
and i still have that short temper in me
although it's getting better
but I am still short temper.
BUT BELIEVE ME I AM TRYING HARD TO CHANGE
Sorry that I might bring out the image
that I am some petty girls
or some dominating shit

BUT please give me a chance and
not condemn me by my tone
and think that I am petty
and angry for no reason..
I cant change my voice
it's just the way i talk
It just gets higher when i get excited
Maybe I should just shut up?
I dunno...
Maybe i should change the way I
say things..

whatever it is I'm tired..

Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Thursday, July 24, 2008 at 7/24/2008 10:25:00 PM

Went to interact club today
and haha fruitful
Hope i will start soon
And saw 1 eye candy there!!!
WEET!!!
My priority is not the cca pts
since SCC can be allowed to be my cca
I just hope to know more friends
because i have NO LIFE
I basically got NO FRIENDS in ite
except my class mates
-.-

Anyway Just finished making dearest card
tml is our 2 mths
and cant meet him since he finishes his school at
10 pm
haiz
And now he MIA again
I'm so tired
every time he mia i cant slp
-.-
haiz
and I know he is not angry because
we were fine just now
either he is still outside doing proj
which i doubt so
or he is already at home sleeping..
I chose to believe that...
because i don't want to believe he will
be outside with other girls besides me

whatever IT is
I will not cry
Even if i cant sleep
I WILL NOT CRY!!!
If he doesn't call me today
he will call me tml
I just have to trust him

为了你眼泪不能流下
绝对不能!!!

I will be alright!
I must endure
It's today or never
i must survive the test
and not let imagination run round
I MUST TRUST HIM!

ok it's not convincing but
I don't care!
I am trying hard!!!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Tuesday, July 22, 2008 at 7/22/2008 10:57:00 PM


Was browsing through my hp
when i found this
This photo make me laugh like hell
It was on the day
we went to my mum's cuisine for his proj

we were on the bus
and he was playing with the evian water
he pulled out the wrapper and said
dear look at me
the next thing i know the label is on him
He named himself EVIAN
-.-

Ok this post is so random
But it's cute so i decided to post it
Anyway I've decided to go back to
the happy me
No i am not a superwoman
I will still blog some emo stuffs
BUT I will try to not make him my priority
No
it's not that I don love him anymore
But I wanna Love myself more

Ok I have been saying that for past few days
but because I need to remind myself
so yup
ok shall stop here tata!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.


at 7/22/2008 08:10:00 PM

Whoa!
Today is such a LONG day!
Went to audition for Showcase today
I joined with Donovan a few weeks ago
And I must say
Hmmm.
We already did our best...
However I don't think we can get in...


If we never get in
I will be quite disappointed
Cos We spent sooooo
much time in practising.
But however I am very
satisfied with my performance today :)

After the song
It's the judges time to give comment
and he said WONDERFUL SINGER!!!
WAHAHA!!!
WONDERFUL SINGER!!!
I'm going gaga over this comment
WONDERFUL SINGER
WONDERFUL SINGER
WONDERFUL SINGER
It's ringing in my head now XD
lol!

Too bad Don too nervous.
If not we sure in
Now we can only pray hard
*chuckles*
But nvm!
DON DON tried his best le
Since it's his first time performing
It's natural to be nervous
Because even I was nervous
I can practically hear the
trembling in my voice at first

All I can say is This is really a
Very good experience for both of us!
DON practice perform in front
of more people and next year we join again
SURE can make it!
haha :p

haha..
OK I need to go now
talk again next time tata!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Monday, July 21, 2008 at 7/21/2008 07:40:00 PM

OK
I have two person to thank in my blog
They are not the
Most important people
And Nope
I can live my life without them
But they are the sweetest person on earth
and I manage to survive today
It's all because of them!!!

These 2 person is DANG DANG DANG!
Chinn Yee and Belinda
Thanks Chinn Yee for chatting with me
till 2 plus am
Without u I might cry like 1 puffy fish..
Thanks Belinda For giving me hug
I needed that :)
And she kept asking me if i was ok .

Seriously first time they see me so emo
And I'm so sorry that
They were worried because of me.
BUT oh well
I told myself i am going to try to trust him
and stop imagining things.
I know i can do it!

因为他眼泪
不由自主地往下流
现在为了他
我要忍着不让眼泪流

见了他
他看见我生病还去找他
他抱紧我
告诉我他爱我
要我别胡思乱想
因为那句话与行动
我打算好好地
信任他

I believe I can do it!

怀疑是自己编造的内容

JIA YOU!
focus on studies!
I CAN!!!






Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Sunday, July 20, 2008 at 7/20/2008 10:41:00 PM

Last post before I go to sleep today
I just finished writing my notes for SHN
OK not ALL!
but i think i completed half already...
Now I only left with script to worry about i guess

I really hate myself sometimes.
Really no life
My blog is all about him
and the despair desperation everything i felt for him
It seems like my life only resolves around him
and yet his life resolves around school
不对我不是在埋怨
no I am not complaining
I just hope i can be like him.

And i guess i should try
to be like him.
Because my focus should be on studies.
Yes I know it's easier said than done
But i am not going to give up
i want to at least try first

其实我真的不好受
因为当他没打给我
我快疯了
可是经过那天
他对我宽容的呵护
我下定决心
我要相信他
所以我告诉自己
他只是睡着了
他醒来了一定会打给我的!
一定会

海铭
如果你会看到
我想告诉你
我真的真的尽力在改
尽力相信你
可是我不是superwoman
我不可能一下子就变
可是至少我相信你

So I believe you
Even though part of me are having
confusion
part of me are telling myself to doubt you
part of me telling myself u wanna leave me
BUT I am pushing all these aside
trying my best...
because i really trust you
and i don't want my imagination to be the one
making you leave me

I can do it
I know I can .
我一定可以的!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.


at 7/20/2008 06:58:00 PM

I just realised how busy this week is going to be for me..
好繁忙的一个星期哦!
projects to rush
test to sit for every Thursday!
Besides that this week not only i have monthly performance
but also the audition for showcase.

突然发现有好多
好多事情必须要做
还好projects已做得七七八八了
省script还有测验要赶
忙透了!

seriously i am not very happy these few days
How some 1 can make u laugh for the
stupidest reason
and make u cry for the stupidest reasons..
And that person surprisingly is myself.
I hate it when i'm paranoid.
but tell me!
how not to?
haiz...
can my mind just stop brooding over it?

拜托!
请不要胡思乱想。
我不想过这样的生活!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Saturday, July 19, 2008 at 7/19/2008 11:41:00 AM

Sick all over again..
又生病了。
好辛苦。
可能因为昨晚哭了一整夜。
今天起来头好重好重。
额头也开始变烧。
好辛苦
可是最辛苦的是心。。。


我知道我可能想太多了。
如果昨晚他没接电话
我可以当作他睡着了
可是我看到userbusy
我像疯子一般疯。
从两点多到六点早上
userbusy
难道他和别人有这么多话题吗?

现在我希望他能够
尽快打电话给我。。
因为真的不好受。。。

cried for the whole night
my tears have already run dry
I might be paranoid yes.
I hope i am..
I don't want the thing i dread to happen now..

cant talk much now..
got to rest
that is if i can..
and proceed to doing project ...

我在等你的电话。。。

Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Friday, July 18, 2008 at 7/18/2008 05:36:00 AM

无奈

今天特别早起
所以打算来这里blog
哈哈!
会选折用华文因为
不想我班的有些马来人看到
不对!!!!
这不是种族歧视。。。

而是我需要这样做
还记得上次我们做projects
大多数的人没来
而我在这里说了
我的感想
他看到了
不爽!
不过说真的
我没后悔说那番话
因为我部相信会有那么多巧合。

belin 的婆婆进医院
另外两名说眼睛痛和阿姨进医院
随便啦!
反正事情也已经过了
可是我无法忍受的是
既然已经说好这件事不会引起什么fight
就因该这样啊!
可是我还是感觉到
那股杀气

我也开始越来越讨厌
他们
讨厌他们常常用知己的语言
而我必须猜老半天他们说什么。
好累好累!
在体育课终于让我看到什么叫
TEAMWORK
根本就是只传给马来人。
以前在poly或是中学
华人根本不会只跟华人说华语
只传球给华人
我开始觉的恶心。。。

而不写英文的目的
是因为写了变成整班的敌人
那可不妙!
我还有一年半载
我可不想历史从演。
谁叫我生处在一个马来多过华人的环境。
无奈
真是无奈。。。

Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Thursday, July 17, 2008 at 7/17/2008 05:47:00 PM

I know some things but i cant say!!!
:x
Nvm when everything can be say then i post out..

BUT now pls look at ppl around u
and start cherishing.
Because when everything is going well
People might just leave...
so yup

That makes me thinking....


Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Sunday, July 13, 2008 at 7/13/2008 12:06:00 AM

Performance was a success

Went to Civic plaza to perform
for the no smoking campaign today.
I was late T.T
Sorry peeps!
Wasn't quite satisfied Because I was so nervous that
I missed many parts.
BUT nvm
COS all the audience don know!
LOL
I have skill

Was rather happy today!
Because SCC peeps said that i Improved alot
My voice no linger that sharp anymore
BUT it might be due to help of the mic.
WHATEVER it is I am still happy.
Thanks Dearest
There to watch me perform...

After that we went to have lunch
den went back home with him
To take money for dinner
we went to have dinner at My Mum's Cuisine.
Located at paragon #b1-42/43
It tasted fantastic!
LOVE the oyster egg!
YUMMY!!!
HAHA...
We went there to eat cos dearest need to
do his proj!
AND i did help him !!
haha
He said i am smart
and yeah i knew it long time ago ;p
Anyway I just realised
Business is a very easy subject
As long as u work in service line before.
It's basically common sense!

HAHA
shall stop here
talk to you again~
TATA

Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Friday, July 11, 2008 at 7/11/2008 10:07:00 PM

Tired....


AHHH!!! I cant get used to school life
So tired every day!!
Not enough sleep :(
Yesterday I went back to Ngee Ann to perform.

Tml Performing at woodland Civic Plaza
Quite excited!!!!
HAHA!!!
Seriously I need a CCA!!!
And i wonder whether SCC can be counted as my cca ?

Does ITE accepts outside CCA?
Hmm i wonder...
Haiz haven talk to Dearest since last night
Missed him like hell!
Am able to see him tml!
YEAH!!!!

OK I'm getting lazy to blog
Talk to you again soon!
TATA!!!!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Tuesday, July 8, 2008 at 7/08/2008 09:12:00 PM

Went to school Today
And ok lor...
But i felt sleepy halfway through.
I Dread going to school
Especially when school starts early.
Why can't we have something
that doesn't require studying?
Ok i am lazy and i know it
BUT ARGH!!!!
IF ONLY we do not need to go to school
OR if school can start later.
It's just so tiring going to school early

And my attendance needs to improve
Since my first letter is out
Bleahz
I wouldn't want to get debarred
IF only i can be like Dearest
So focus on his studies.
:(

TEACH ME HOW TO STUDY!!!!
:(

Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Monday, July 7, 2008 at 7/07/2008 01:01:00 AM

Holiday mood...


SCHOOL is starting TOMORROW!!!
And i am still in Holiday mood!
And I HAVEN even study anything!
fuck fuck fuck !


How lazy can i get?
Always procasinate and ended up i am
not studying at all!
haiz like this
how can i fulfill my dreams?

Anyone have any idea?
Tell me how do u guys study?
Give me some tips PLEASE!!!!
How do you do that?
How can u sit down and study?

How do you prevent yourself from procasination?
PLEASE TEACH ME IF U HAVE TIPS!!!
I need it badly!!!!
Thanks..

Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Sunday, July 6, 2008 at 7/06/2008 12:13:00 AM

ease...

Sometimes
I don't know what to say
Sometimes
I just feel like throwing all away.
Why should I even bother
When all i get is trouble

When conflicts arises
I looked into your eyes
What i see are images of you walking away.
And all i can do is cry

The things u promise
The things u swear
U told me that u will do whatever u swear.
So tell me?
are your promises meant to be broken?

I don't want to believe
I don't want to see
I want everything
to be at ease.

Please let everything be at ease...


Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Friday, July 4, 2008 at 7/04/2008 12:00:00 PM

听到我的电话响
会不会是你
我总怀疑
因为这原因
心情不稳定
我们之间的问题
是我不相信你
敏感又多心怕你变心
因为爱你
害怕失去你.

baby
我想对你说声对不起
用错的方式去爱你
因为我太爱你
如果没有你
我的生命会是灰色地
所以请你不要离去

我说你让我看不清楚
你让我害怕在爱中迷路
告诉我
你愿意用生命阻挡
任何伤害我的人
就算被冷落
或是我犯错
你都不会走.


我越是幸福越害怕
怕它会结束
越拥抱却越是孤独
每人了解的孤独
我自己照顾.





Life is a song and I'll play for you.


Short hair now
Wednesday, July 2, 2008 at 7/02/2008 11:10:00 PM

Short hair now


OK!!! I officially take off my extention le.
And i Cut my hair too.
NOw it's super duper short.
It's fucking UGLY!!!
So ppl who are seeing me soon.
PLS!
Don't tell me i look ugly.
Because i know that very well
Thank you very much.
Nth much to update le
TATA!

Life is a song and I'll play for you.