I was reading something the
very chim philosophy just now
That I posted last night on my blog
And After that
I went to read my friends blog

And I realized something
I realized what I'm lacking
I'm lacking in the usage of beautiful words
And suddenly I feel
That I destroyed everything
I literally mean everything with my mouth
my words..
And my character

I always think it's so fake that
people don like you
BUT they still smile like they adore you
And I am never able to do it
BUT now I realised Maybe because
I am always so straightforward
I ended up being not so likable

And I always think that if something is not good
it's = not good
BUT some people can made it sound like
it's ok you'll just need some more adjustment and it will be perfect
and I always think that these people
are so fake
however This is a skill I guess
Fanciful words
the art of playing with words
yes it's confusing
And I'm confused too

BUT I need to change the way i talk
really
because it's perhaps why he doesn't love me as much
as that woman
I kept thinking
There's no reason why I would lose to her
BUT Maybe there's 1 thing
That I definite lose to
That's the use of words

Come to think of it
all along I've been so straight towards him
That I might be subconciously diminishing his confidence or whatever
BUT maybe that woman
she made him feel good and proud
maybe that's why he never love me

OK I'm sorry
even though I told myself not to think
About him
BUT I cannot
I kept thinking which part of me isn't good enough
and now It starts making sense
I ain't good enough for anyone at all

In fact I sucks
Bad tempered, straight forward, too confident of oneself
these 3 factor is enough to cover all the good i have
but I never realised it
till now

I have no right to criticise or judge anyone at all
I am not fit to
he made the right choice of leaving me
I should have just shut up

a life of silent would better a life of condemnation and contempt

Lazy to blog today
But I saw some meaningful things online so I decided to post it out
And since I'm blogging might as well share
What I did today
Went singing
at Party world today
don feel so good today
Some how I missed him alittle today..
But Alright I guess
It's a process of healing
:)
Will be good in no time I guess

This is what I found online :

A single uttered word can completely destroy the fortifications of a person’s heart. With a word, one can choose to build or destroy. Why has man been given such a weapon? For in today’s era man uses his tongue more as a means to destroy than as a means of delivering good. Subtle insults have often been the cause of war and enmity. Friendships have been torn apart, marriages destroyed. If used unwisely, a single chosen word can drive a person to murder, or suicide. A chosen word can bring even the most sturdy of people to their knees! A person must learn to control their tongue in the hopes that they will never again use it for such evil.

All this I realized in a heartbeat, and it was my own tongue that made me realize it. I uttered but a simple truth, and it almost destroyed something I hold most dear. When I should of kept silent and listened, I lashed out with the only weapon I had handy; my tongue. Even as I spoke I realized my error, for I judged before my mind could fully grasp what I was hearing. I judged another person for their sin without looking into my own heart and realizing that I too was guilty of it. Do not be quick to judge, for in doing so you forget to judge yourself. Do not judge others before judging yourself. A life of silence would better a life of shouted condemnation and contempt. To speak wisely you must first use your eyes and your ears. Do not even speak unless what you say is to the benefit of whoever it is that is listening.

Many of us.. Instead ALL of us are guilty

And ME no exceptional..
I am constantly making mistake with what I say
And I guess maybe that's the reason
why I lost something dear to me

Yes..
A life of silence would better a life of shouted condemnation and contempt.

Wahahah!!!!
I went out again today!!!!
lol
Went for IRC Outing
Yes you heard it IRC
LOL I used to be so crazy over IRC
Had My own chanl
And become the operators of some chanls
and stuffs like that

But those days were over~
LOL
Went out cos Very long never catch up with some of them
and once again
I don wanna stay at home
so yup

Met them at around 5 at PS
and We watched the Disaster Movie
Not bad
But not really my type
Cos most of the time I catch no balls
LOL
Perhaps I sucks at watching comedy
LOL

Before the shows starts We went to eat
after that went carrfour to buy some drinks
and while they were queuing up
I went camwhoring as usual~
LOL

First took some pictures of myself
Then took with mary :)


After that went for movie~
After the movie went toilet and after that
starts to camwhore again!!
LOL

Me and serena

Me and serena and Fiona (twins)Me and serena again!!!

After that decided to hate to meridian for a pool session
But Full house
So they went to Buy water at the food court
My leg was hurting me
So I sat down instead
AND THAT'S WHEN CAM WHORING STARTS AGAIN!!!!




No one other then me is suitable to be called
camwhoring queen !
LOL

Anyway since we cant play pool
we decided to head back to Plaza Sing Macdonald
To slack
And after that
Home sweet home~~~
So tired!!
I cant believe I actually spend like 100 in 2 days!!!
OMG!!!
I really have to watch what I spend on!!!
ahh~~~

WA!!!!
Finally I'm out of my hse!!!
HAHA!!!
I've been a cave woman for so long
FINALLY
I get to see some light!!!
Yeah!!!
so happy!!!
Muackz!!!!

Ok I'm literally mad
so just ignore me!
Anyway went to surprise Chinn Yee today
Chinn Yee was supposed to meet Hai Ting at 1 pm
And at 12 plus we were already at her doorstep
Waking her up!
LOL

Then she got the shocked out of her life
LOL
After that we slacked at her hse
wait for her to bath and all
So while she bath I cam whore
*chuckles*


And I saw many of Cy's Baby photo
and all I can say is
OMG!!!
I fall in love with a baby
Cy's cousin
SOOOOO CUTE~~~~~
ahhhh~~~~

And I really got to comment
Cy's father damn hip la!!!
watched naruto some more!
The best thing is Her dad is VERY VERY friendly!!!
LOL
As I was browsing her childhood photo
Her dad Offer to show more
so cute !
Then He even showed me his younger days photo
Let me see how alike he and Cy's Bro is...

Eh CY!
I envy your family sia!
LOL

Anyway after that we went AMK hub
and decided to watch The mirrors
It was good
BUT I WON TALK ABOUT IT
Other wise I cannot sleep!!!
AHHHHHH!!!!
Then went to Ichiban to eat
and Oh my goodness!
Damn nice can?

While waiting for food I Camwhore LOL


I took a picture of HT food

cos very appetizing
My food was delicious too!
It's call Don Don Set!
Sounds familiar?
LOL
I wanted to take a picture of it
But when the food came I forgot about it
And proceeded to eat LOL!
It was very nice
BUT let me warn you
Please share it with some one
YOU CAN NEVER FINISH EATING IT
unless you super duper big eater
wahaha!
Damn nice!!!!

After lunch watched movie
and after that
Neoprints~~~
And Home sweet home for the rest of them
as Cy gt something on...

I went to meet Yichen for Dinner
He bring me go some where for Ramen session
Dunno where is it but it's super nice!
BUT EXPENSIVE!!!!
argh!!!
again I never finish it
because In the noon eat quite a fair amount
LOL

Then walked around awhile and Home sweet home!!!
Ok maybe it doesn't sound interesting
BUT OH WELL
what do you expect?
I have been a cave woman for so long
Of cos I'm happy ^^
Contented now ^^

LOL
I am so crazy that they say I'm mad!
But who cares?
I'm happy and that's all that matters
Thanks guys :)
Even though I am not the birthday girl
BUT after so long finally I get to go out and enjoy myself
and Really really have to thank you guys man!
wahaha!!!
But I am not those who can face you and say mushy things
so yeah
Even though I said it online
BUT I DO MEAN IT!!! :)
MUACKZ!

I find this phrase very meaningful
So I've decided to post it :
Somewhere There's someone who dreams of your smile
and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile
So when you're lonely remember it's true
Somebody somewhere is thinking of you

Anyway Today I rot at home again
So sad yeah?
Every single day at home
HAHA!
But oh well
At least I'm better now
And Yeah I will get better
It's time to change some character of mine
and stop indulging in self pity~
Although I Am already quite a good person overall
LOL
But yeah
I guess my BIGGEST BIGGEST weakness in
relating to people is that I loses steam of easily
Maybe that's why I talk like I'm agitated?
I think I really need to go for some Yoga LOL
to control my temper
haha
OK since I can be from someone with HOT temper
to Short temper
I guess I can do it
Even though My whole family temper is bad
BUT i supposed it can be change
Well, It's high time I start changing Otherwise
Not only will it interfere with my personal life
But also my working life in future..

And yeah I Got to move on
Some one out there is waiting for me to put a smile on their face
WAHAHAH
enough of crapping
I've gt nth to say anymore!!!
TATA

WOW WOW WOW!!!
TRIPLE WOW!!!
Fruitful day today!!!
wahahahahahah!!!
Went out with ICBS today
we went to paya lebar
it's some sort like a pasar malam
and oh man it is very very hot!!!

I start with the day at waking up
Then prepare myself
and went to school
I was supposed to reach before 3pm to retrieve
my password
However I was late
So i went to National Library to borrow books
Hey I do read
Just that I always forgot to return
:(
But I just cleared my debts
SO I'm finally able to borrow again after 1387417498172 years

I borrowed both english and chinese novels
Yup to improve my language
as you can see from my blog now
my english really sucks
Chinese?
Not bad LOL
but I wanna write good songs
and I discovered that Chinese Novels
omg!
Their words are sooo beautiful

OK WHATEVER!
After that went to school
And Just nice!
Ms Dorcas having a small toilet break..
So signed and everything
I waited for them to finish their meeting
and attend class outing together

I tell you!
I am super shock!!!
when Ms Pearl came out of the toilet!!
I was like OMG!
one moment she was dressed up in office wear
and the next moment she became super hot girl!!
YES GIRL!!
tank top
plus super mini skirt
wa!
HOT!!!

joke of the day:
We were transfering from the north south line
to the east west line at City Hall
and the mrt was a little pack
so I began saying
QUICK QUICK!!
LATER I CANT GO IN!!!
Then after we entered Ms Dorcas say
Actually no 1 realised you cant enter
BUT after your big commotion
every one in the mrt knows
and she was saying
you are those kind if we fall cant let you know
other wise no 1 knows
becaome whole world know -.-
K fine next time i will TRY my best to speak softly

TRY no guarantee!

I seriously fast with them
and omg!
It's tedious !
Once you can start eating
You won talk
You gobble the food like some hungry ghost!
And I'm lucky i can drink water
I really salute the muslim!!!
They are able to withstand ALL temptation
I thank god I don't have to fast!
I cant imagine 1 day without water
I can just die!!!

After that we went to the plaza
and it's like so many store selling malay costume
and fake flowers
ALL ARE EXPENSIVE
The fake flowers cost 40+++
omg!
And let me tell you
When you walk around there
It's like walking in OVEN!!!
And recently the weather is so hot
Inside so packed!!
can die!!!!
lol
Ok enough of talking
Will upload the photos after I received them :)
SEE YA!!!

This song is composed by me last year
and it went into concert
I know it's off to show now
but yeah i wanna share my work :)
my partner is the guy playing piano!!
BEST FRIEND TOO
wahaha
enjoy~~

Verse
为何失落 (why is there disappointment)
为何(why ?)
早已知道(When I know what the outcome would be)
结局的我不肯认输( I wouldn't concede defeat)
一直以为(All along I thought)
还存着希望( that there will be some chance)
你会爱我( that you would love me)

Pre-chorus
为什么当不上情人(Why is it that If we can't be lovers)
总是要成为朋友( we have to make do with being friends)
我不想再舍求( I do not ask for more)
只希望你不要( but I just hope you'll stop)
把我当成朋友对待( treating me like a friend)
为何你还要勉强( why do you still wanna)
把存有裂痕的友情( being back the friendship )
渐接拉进你( when It's already been broken)

Chorus
明明知道 ( It's already known)
我不想也不愿意成为( that I do not want and I'm not willing to )
你要的好朋友( be your best friend that you've requested for)
我从来没得过你的爱(I have never won your love before)
明明知道( it's already known)
你不可能而你也不会( you won't and will never)
成为我的情人( become my lover)
因为爱我的人不是你( because the one who loves me isn't you)

I've translated it for my muslim friend!
They wanna see my lyrics!
haha no I lied!
I asked them to come and see
wahaha

There are a few things i need to clarify..
so yeah
firstly I did not forget my friends
because i have a boyfriend
secondly I did not forget about SCC
purely because I have a boyfriend
and
lastly I did not attend SCC camp
NOT because I broke up with my boyfriend

There Clarified!
I just talk to Jia Yi
and It seems like ppl think this way
and yeah i don really care how ppl looked at me
because if you know me
You will know
what kind of person I am
So i am not asking you all to believe me
on my words if you don't want to
But I feel that I have the right to clarify...

I did not went to SCC for 1 month because
my projects have been piling up
and exam is near the corner
and I have to teach tuition
and yes boyfriend affects too
It's hard to juggle everything
but it is not because I have a bf
I forgot about SCC
I did not went to SCC camp because
I still have school
Btw poly and ITE holiday may be close
but it's not the same.
and camp is held on Tues, Wed, Thurs
how 2 go?
besides I'm having exam the week after the
camp is held
how to go?
And about friends
friends in the east
I still meet them up for short dinner or lunch
But I did not met Jia yi and mei har
cos it's very far
I know distance is not an excuse
BUT
when you become busy
it becomes a factor

DONE!
I've finished what I wanna clarify
that's all I got to say...

I had a weird dream last night
well actually this morning
I dreamed of a guy first
dunno who that guy is
and dunno why he appear inside
But apparently
he was meeting me but backed out last min
and I don't know how I ended up at
Hai ming's god sister place
and some how he contacted his god sis
and not me
and he went mia on me
and i was angry
and he said things like
angry again
Because you are always angry over such things
that's why i don love you anymore
something like that..
My dream is very vague
BUT can it be this case?
Is it because i loses steam so easily
that he don love me anymore?
I want to ask him
BUT i don dare and don want to
Because I'm afraid ...

Seriously I am really surprised with the impact he has on me

But whatever it is
I'll move on just fine...
I know I can ...

As for the loses steam easily part
I am still trying to change
because that is also 1 of my weakness
It's gonna be hard
BUT yeah I can do it :)
I've already changed so much
I can do it
even if it takes me half a life to change i will
life is a learning process
we never stop changing...

Today I had FUN!!!
spell again F.U.N!!!!
Morning i Went out with Zack
a guy I knew thru games
cos ya he knew that i broke up with him
and advise me to get out
and 1 idiot played out last min
and Zack went out with me
even though he have activity at night

So we went to cathy at Ehub
we watch Bangkok Dangerous
IT WAS GOOD!!
Seriously!
Go watch it ppl
I give it 4.5/5
0.5 cos i don like the ending
it is a good ending though
Because it's very realistic
BUT I WANT IT MY ENDING!!!!

I am not gonna say what's the ending
but DO WATCH IT!!!!
ok
I was quite sad
that after lunch 3 plus we had to go
and I have to come back home
BUT nigel call me
and asked if i wanna sing ktv
so yeah i went
It's just a small grp ktv outing
Amelia back out last min since she's not feeling well
so Joe, Nigel and me went to party world to sing!

We saw Yichen at party world beside our room!!!
HONGSTER!
cant come out lor
den can go out with 2 girl :(
lol k la don tease
he arrange with his friend first
after that Yichen join us for dinner
and they recommend me to Korean food at meridian
NICE!!!
I am so going there again!!!
YAY!!!

I'm a happy girl today!!!
I hope everyday will be like today!!!
YAHOO~~~

After hearing this song I'm sad
It's saddening to lose some1 you love
BUT it's even saddening to know that
some 1 you love won be coming back ever again!
So DO cherish ppl around you
do not wait till the last minute
If you love some one tell them
because one day when you intend to tell them
they might not be around to hear it anymore
listen to this and you will understand why I said that
This little girl is strong

OK it might not be real
BUT it still makes me sad so
DO LISTEN TO IT!!!!!

Seriously
my mood wasn't at tip top condition today
Sometimes I just wished he fuck off
I know I'm being mean
BUT i don hate him
BUT I'm seriously angry with him
really!

I mean after you MIA
den jolly well MIA all the way
If you want me to forget you!
den don bother to reply me?
he replied me in sms saying that
he was very busy
and whatever it is
but seriously i don care
a promise is a promise
and when u had broke your promise
you've broken it
If you are stress over exam aren't I?
what gives you that big fuck attitude to not reply me?
and when i have exam
you hurt me just 1 week b4 exam
did i ever complain?
And don tell me you are too busy
that you cant even reply 1 sms which will take
less than 5 min

And nvm when i logged in msn
i saw his offline msg
and again how sorry he is
and things like forget me this unfaithful guy
I'm so sorry
If you are sorry
you won repeat the same old thing again
broken promises
And I was actually sad at first
because i wonder did i really go overboard
by expecting you to keep your promise
even though we aren't bf/gf

BUT than i think about it again
I have the right
because it's a promise
and if you break it
yes it just shows what i am to you
and sadly to say
i'm just trash
so yeah
like i say in my blog
when i first started with you
if you treat me like trash I should just fuck it

and yeah right now I've decided
so if u ever wanna help me
DON"T EVER SAY YOU'RE SORRY
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT
DON'T EVER LET ME THINK
YOU STILL WANNA BE FRIEND WITH ME
thanks
maybe you should just go away once and for all
Because I've decided to let you go

and Thanks fara
you really really help me
by giving that encouragement
thank you so much
I will never forget that

im not gonna ask anything
but im just tellin you,there is beauty in a woman
whose confidence comes from
experiences,
who knows she can fall,
pick herself up, and go on.
i believe you own that beauty:)
i knw this will sound so friggin awkward bt avier,
if he doesnt love you.
icbs love you.
if he treats you like a trash,
we treat you like our princess:)
take care.

Yes And Like I always say
If no 1 loves me
I will love myself
BUT I have many who loves me
:)
I'll be fine and move on
And I swear that 1 day
1 day I will look into his eyes
and say
I've move on and I'm glad I did

YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME
YOU BROKE YOUR FUCKING PROMISES
I SHOULD HAVE KNOW EARLIER
YOU CAN NEVER KEEP YOUR PROMISES
NEVER LET ANYONE HURT ME
BULLSHIT
YOU FUCKING HURT ME AGAIN
PLEASE GO AND DIE
GO AND NEVER COME BACK
I FUCKING HATE YOU

FUCK OFF AND GET OUT OF MY FUCKING LIFE

THIS TIME I'M SERIOUS IN LETTING YOU GO
JUST FUCK OFF
I DON DESERVE ALL THIS

I DESERVE MUCH BETTER

I won allow myself to get hurt again
I am letting you go once and for all

2 DOWN!
1 more to go!!!!!
HAHA!!!
The paper is relatively easy
even easier than Dorcas paper.
Maybe because the mark is broken down
so you don feel so stressed
LOL!

BUT seriously both paper wasn't as hard
But oh well
I really really hope i can get An A
*pray*

Tml is CE
DEAD!!!!
that's my worst!
BUT nonetheless
I will do well
I think!
LOL

What should i say
I'm not being emo
But i cant deny I miss him
LOL

It's stupid when i wanna say get over him
but i do miss him
haha
it's not hard to forget him
but u see when i'm alone like now
HAIZ!!!!
I wish he will just msg me :(

Anyway I'm being random
BUT anyone out there with a broken heart?
and needs to forget your gf?
how about I be your gf you be my bf
and we 4 get our ex?
ko yi ma ko yi ma ko yi ma???

LOL
Ok I'm literally stupid
to think of this bad idea
BUT in case you guys consider it do tell me yeah?
LOL

Ok Stop crapping
Going off now...

*misses*

OK
1 down
2 more papers to go!!!

Gambateh!!!
Hmmm..
Today's paper was not so bad
except for some question
especially the observation 1
that was a killer!

BUT whatever it is
I wish I hope
that i can get 85 and above
so that i can get an A for ECD
lol
I know fat wishes
BUT i can still hope right?

Now I'm sooo sooo tired!!!
T.T
Might be resting soon

Anyway i just realised
That whenever i post sad post
then ppl will tagged me
otherwise no 1 tag
why is it so?
Please keep the tag coming alright?
otherwise i feel so bored!!!

OK see ya soon!!!
tata!!!

BLOG BLOG BLOG!!!
Ok today I'm both sad and happy
Why ?
shall elaborate further!

Today Cy and Don was saying
they are going to wisma after school
I was thinking whether i should tag along
And i thought if they went to eat
at anyplace which have sashimi
I shall go!
and they really went there!!!

So we went to Suki to eat
With a girl call Hai Ting (cy friend)
Den we eat and chat
chat and eat
Till 3 plus Bernice came
Don't know if i spelled it correctly :X
After that this guy call Jie Liang came
erm apparently they are having a
match making session I think!

I was so happy at first
that i kept eating and eating non stop!!!
and now I'm sad!
Because recently sOOO many ppl told me
that I've slimmed down
And erm after today
I think my effort is wasted T.T

After the buffet
we went to take neo print
let me upload here!
HAHA

Don't know why this pic so small -.-
The guy beside me is Jie liang And infront of me is hai ting and bernice
all put twist except don attention seeker -.-


This pic whenever i see it i will rmb Jie liang!
Thanks ar! because i ask u come in den i look ugly!
but don also! every 1 make ugly face u make so cute de -.-I like these 2!!! I look so nice!! wahaha!
Cy say me and don look like couple here
*wink at don* I'm your gf!!! LOL
After that we went to wisma
to pei cy fix her phone
while waiting i was telling don that
I did something stupid
I said Any handsome guy here?
like fat girl can ask me for my number
and he laughed

den I did something retard
I say don seriously if 1 day I become very slim
will u like me?
I'm expecting a NO
when he say SEE FIRST LOR!
then he give me an expression like i need to choose -.-
thanks ar!

After that went to ship restaurant
the chat at mac awhile
and home swt home!!!

I enjoyed my day today
BUT haiz i miss him
because we went cine!!!
and i see his shadow! HUMPH!
BUT today i never msg or call him at all!!!
good improvement! yeah!!!

Just back from bathing and everything
I'm so tired!!!!
Met him today and surprisingly
I am not very sad now
Cos i really see no point in being sad
what's the use?
LOL
so ya

We studied from 5 to 8 plus
went to have dinner
and back home
he sent me home
and i have the urge to kiss him :x
it's like something you're so used to
but oh well

at first
I don plan on studying till
like maybe sat or sun
But after i see my test
I can score quite well
without studying
then i should be able to score
very well if i study
And i really really wanna get an A
But i am very afraid that i study
end up result sucks
den i really wanna cry
so ya
I started studying
I know it's late to stat now

But oh well, ever heard
better late den never?
LOL
I'm so excited!!!
Tml we get to see phantom of opera
and i'm so afraid i will cry again
cos it's touching!!!!

ahhh~

Ok...
enough with all the stuff about him
I have been blabbering about him for the
hmm past 3 -4 days?
LOL..
Well I am trying hard to recover
And yeah 1 day some 1 will come
So I'll be waiting
right now :)
I'll just stick with what I have
Friends and all :)

Today I'm able to do it
I didn't think about him much today
BUT journey to school and back home
was the worst!!!!
No entertainment
no one to talk to and my mind wander to...
you know what..
BUT thanks nick!!!
thanks for texting with me
and making me laugh.
was quite surprised you read my blog
in such often basis.
And you know what?
I appreciate that you did not ask me about him
on msn last night
and when i sms with you
you just ask whether I'm ok
That's very nice of you my dear :)

Ok anyway
I am quite happy today!!!
OMG!!! The class test I got 71/100
LOL
Must hao lian (show off) abit!
But seriously I'm shocked
Because i didn't study for it..
and I wonder if i study for it
will i get 90 plus?
LOL
I'm dreaming
I will NEVER get 90 plus
I think today I'm just lucky wahaha!!!

Oh anyway nowadays
I am going for the adorable type
so I'll be acting cute alot!!!!
and I literally mean alot!
ko yi ma ko yi ma ko yi ma ko yi ma?
LOL
even if you say BU KO YI!
I'll still act cute ;p
so being my friend you guys can only
TOLERATE!!!
haha...

I'll be meeting him tomorrow..
to study..
I know it's not advisable
but don't worry I'll be fine...
Erm but if i come back emo
please don't scold me alright?

ok I shall stop here nth much to crap
see ya.

I loved him
I seriously do
I am not going to say
some emo stuff like i cant do without him
Because i Know I'm strong enough to survive
we only been together for 3 mth plus
if i cant survive this
I'm not Avier Kwek Shan Yun

But i seriously Do love him
So much so that
I am willing to
be with him again
despite him cheating on me
He love some 1 else
But he NEVER had the courage to tell me these
He treat me like princess
and everything
But why?
Because he's guilty
and he couldn't bear to hurt me
But because of this!
I sank deeper
I love him deeper!
and to find out that
he doesn't love me at all..

He say he will always be there
as a friend
but can i request for something else?
I know that jolly well it will never happen
BUT why?
why did u led me in
Why?
Why did i lose to some1 older den me?
she's married
she had a kid
and she's nt coming back to you anymore
me?
I don mind coming back to you
But u still wanna chuck me aside
I know u don want to lie to me anymore
I appreciate it

BUT IT HURTS
it hurts me so much to know that
u never love me
no matter how well u treat me
deep inside
u treated me as a friend
that's fucking hurtful
you know?
even if u lied to me
and say u love me
just that u don love me as much
as you love her
I'll feel much better


when u have to tell me the truth
u don't have that fucking courage
but when it's time for u to
tell me a white lie
u have to tell me
u don't love me ..
I am just some replacement


I want to hate you
but i like you so much that
I hate myself
so many times
my 6th sense have been right
but i took no notice
I wanna be angry with you
But i'm angry with myself
Because as much as i wana sever all ties with you
i chose to keep u as a friend
to take in your love and concern
even as a friend
that hurts
but it hurts more to completely let u go

That is how much i like you ...
and that is how u repay me..

maybe it's true
幸福比快乐更真实
爱为何这样的痛苦
我忘了这是第几次
一见你就无法坚持
放不开也看不见未来
难道这种不完美
才是爱情真实的样子。

Like i say
I love you and i really do
I know i am being clungy and sticky
to you
BUT i will get over it
i wanna be the bestest friend with you
i want you to be there when i am down
but i dunno if i can
maybe 1 day
i will make that choice of severing all ties with u
but i'm nt strong enough now
so pls bear with me for a moment
because after so many things
this is all u can do for me...
if you really really wanna minimize
the pain

I will never forgive myself
for trusting you
I kept thinking I'm paranoid
but maybe i'm not after all
I told you b4 that at least that woman
she can get back to her husband
me? I have nth left
U told me that i am better than her
she's old married she's locked
i can still find some 1 else
but fuck
I don't know about the future
BUT NOW I WANT NOBODY BUT YOU!
don't you understand?
You love her!
You sympathize with her?
what about me?
I am so angry !
so angry i wanna burst!
but I am even angrier with myself
I don't want to let you go out of my life completely
So i chose to live with it
you being my friend...
I cant forget every thing you said and done
and that hurts the most because in the end
it's all a pack of lies
you just did that to make your guilt go away.

你说的话再我心中生了根
爱得很深所以心会疼
记忆再我的心中翻滚
是不是每个人
都像我一样笨？