If Life is a song, I'll play for you.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008 at 9/02/2008 05:48:00 PM

Thanks annie :)
Thanks for going out with me yesterday
Ya I really can count on you

Today
I found some 1 who can feel me
literally feel
and I'm glad that we understood each other
at least I know I'm not alone

I really think I'm silly
Yesterday I feel much better
because Hai ming said that
He's willing to treat me well for 2 weeks
like a girlfriend
till after my exam
and I'm really happy
Because I Promised him that
after the exam i will try all my best to move on
But while i was in the bath room Just now
I just realised how stupid i am
It's never going to work
If i want to I can do it
dragging on like this will only make me suffer more

I remembered I read a book
and the book says No one can make you depressed except you
I kept thinking that i cant let go of him
Maybe that's why i cant?
I haven even try
how do i know?
Like what fara says
I want to move on and 1 day
tell haiming yes I've moved on
But you are that 1 guy
that make me love you so much
and hurt me so much

And yes
I want hai ming to be by my side
as a best friend and I'm able to tell him
you know what?
I love you!
I love you so much because you are 1 of my bestest friend
I like him so much
and yes i want it this way
I want to cry so much now
BUT no I ain't going to do so :)

I want to wait for him to come back
hear me cry one last time
and i wanna tell him
i will start moving on after i stop crying
Like i say it needs time
But i don need his help
because if I still ask for his help
I am just deceiving myself

It's whether i want to anot
past 2 days I've been telling myself i cannot do it
Maybe that's why my brain says I cannot do it
So Now i am going to say I can
I cannot guarantee I will succeed in a day time
But I know now No 1 can make myself depressed
except me.

Yes I kept thinking it's heart wrenching
that he don't love me
But i never told myself
He treats me so well
that i enjoyed being with him.
And that's why I love him
I kept thinking it's sad to know
he don want to come back to me
But I never told myself if he come back and
he don love me he hurt me again
and this time if he really come back
he will really be using me..
He asked me to 4 get him
but i won't

Like what fara say
I chose to move on
But i won chose to 4get him
I want to remember him
his love and everything about him

I know I'm stupid
But You guys will never understand
Unless you really like some 1
and to that extent you are even willing to be
a fool just for him.
But if i want to be a fool

I wanna be a happy fool

I cant love him more den myself
It doesn't make sense
I dunno whether i can do it
but i wanna try!
and you know what?
if I wait till holiday
no one is helping me
Now i shall use the exam
and school to help me get over him

Because i want to be able to go out with him
one day in the very very near future
and says i am getting over you already.
Because if that what he wants
i will do it for him.

So later in the night
I am going to tell him
and I hope he will keep his promise
of being by my side when I am down
and never let any one hurt or bully me again
when i am down and need a
big shoulder to contain all my tear
he's will be that shoulder.
This is what he told me..
p.s. please keep this promise because
You've already broke 1

Yup this is it.
so class pls do help me out
don ask me about him until i am
ready to talk abt him
and don tell me it's saddening
because it's not...
I am going to earn another best friend soon I hope :)
even if I don't
I've already learn something out from him
When you really like some 1
you will do everything to make him happy :)
This is what some will never have the chance to learn :)
and Those who are reading this blog
no need to tell me how sad it is.
Cos i Know how sad it is
and when u expect me to be sad
for months and stuff no I ain't gonna do it

YUP!
I want to be happy and I will

很爱很爱你
所以愿意
舍得让你
往更多幸福的地方飞去

Life is a song and I'll play for you.